When we're in the midst of healing a broken past, we'll begin to look for answers by looking inward. It's a struggle, I know, to face what we might judge as our failures, our mistakes, our losses. But it's the only way to learn from the lessons our past can gift to us.
Choosing to look inward will give you the insights you need to see what changes might need to take place so that you don't go on repeating behaviors that haven't worked for you before now.
But how is that done, exactly?
Just take the first step, which is to begin spending time with yourself, alone. Make it a daily practice. If it means you leave the dog inside and take your walk alone, then do that. If it means you must dine alone, then do that. If it means you hop on a bike and ride, then, by all means, do that. Do whatever feels right to you.
It was when I rode my bike that I first began observing the pedal power. That's what had the most affect on me. That was where I started to see the growth that I needed to see in order to believe I was going somewhere. Your space might be different than mine was. There is no right or wrong space. It's what works for you. Your BIKE journey will not be the same as mine. It may be similar but it won't be the same. That's a benefit of this spiritual navigation tool--it's uniquely yours, to be created, developed and polished by you and you alone.
In the beginning of my BIKE journey, I had to have that time alone. I felt like I was suffocating, if I didn't get it. But there are others of you out there who may resist alone time. You may resist looking inward. It might not feel "normal." I understand. Later in my healing, I found resistance, too. Don't fear the resistance. It's natural. When change occurs, it feels uncomfortable. It feels unfamiliar. It feels like you're losing control. When you sense that resistance, as I have been lately, you'll begin to recognize that this is your ego getting in the way of your progress. It'll slip in there every now and then. Even years from now when you think you've long since been recovered, resistance may return in some form.
Be patient with yourself.
Go back to making space just for you. Make it more special this time, if that will help. Do what an interior designer suggested to me once when I was interviewing her for a story: "Create an afternoon tea party with just yourself." Take it one step further and turn on music in the background, something relaxing. Light a scented candle or incense. Breathe deeply. The breathing is especially important. It's one of the first things I forget to do when I'm in crisis mode. But the second I remember to focus on breathing, my personal space becomes calm again, and I can start to see clearly again. The experts don't tell us to count to ten when we're upset for nothing. It gives us time to check in with reality. You know that nothing is ever as bad as it seems. This is a reminder I've needed myself this past week or so. BIKE is my reminder.
Remember, BIKE includes the four elements of who you really are when you're being your Best self, accessing your Inner strength, paying attention to that Killer instinct, and using your Expressive voice. When you're not doing or being or achieving one or more of them, the mental aspect of BIKE reminds you of that as well. It works along side of your spiritual guide; it's always there. Waiting patiently, if necessary.
Your alone time gives you that time you need to reconnect with what it feels like to just be you. Doing it daily gives you the constant reminder you might need to stay sane. My BIKE saved me; yours will, too, if you're open to its power. When you begin to get comfortable defining it on your terms, you'll see exactly how you can use this mental BIKE to help push or pull you through even the most difficult days. You will not always have big burdensome challenges like you may be experiencing now, but you'll always have challenges to overcome, little ones, like an overcharge on the phone bill or a minor accident while on the way to work. It's okay. Your mental BIKE will help you deal, even if the dealing part occurs after the panic. With BIKE, there's always room for do-overs. As you continue to read this blog, you'll learn to trust your intuition. To do that, you'll need to look within. To look within takes time. And that time is better spent alone.
All my best,