Find your refuge in 2009

On a visit to Jerome this past year, I stayed over night at the Surgeon's House. The owner has created a refuge for the guests who join her. The rooms are decorated with keepsakes from her childhood and local artist paintings of the historic home. The breakfasts she makes out of love; you can taste it in the way she presents it and serves it to you on china with silver and ironed linens in a dining room filled with antique furnishings.

The community space includes handcrafted iron railings, balconies, secret gardens, and hidden walkways like the one pictured above. This one begins at a gate that opens up to a fence lined with rustic Noah bells. Ring them, and the sound is said to release negative energy and help inspire the day ahead. At the far end sits a bench where you can rest, reflect and observe your surroundings.

Located high up on a hill, you can see the former ghost town-turned artists' community down below. You can see the red rocks of Sedona and the San Francisco Peaks near Flagstaff in the distance. Behind you is a mountain with the big white letter J painted on the side. In front of you are koi ponds, fountains and various plants and flowers that mostly bloom year-round: jasmine, rose bushes, day lillies, gardenias, irises, daisies and more.

Each morning, you'll find the owner of this B&B in her kitchen, sitting at a table with her legs crossed, meditating over tarot cards. She lights candles and incense, surrounds herself with beautiful things, and this is how she begins her day. She understands the importance of finding your refuge, knowing who you are at your inner core, becoming aware. She's created a space to do that for herself and where you can come to do the same.

Invited to stay with her, I was working on my trave guide when I was in Jerome this last time. I've vowed to return to this hilltop site another time, however, as I felt an inner peace there that I couldn't quite fully reach as I was working and interviewed her and the guests she invited over for me to meet. My next journey there will be more about reflection. A weekend retreat could provide that, and I know I'll return there this year. I'm drawn, and when I'm drawn somewhere, I listen and follow.

In the year ahead, think about where you'll go to find your refuge, what you'll do, how you'll fit it into your tight schedule. If something's been calling out to you in your subconscious, give the call a voice. Let it be heard. It's clearly telling you something important.

Perhaps it's saying you need time alone. No matter how difficult it may seem, trust this is true. Yes, you work all day and then may have to prepare dinner for the family in the evenings. Yes, you must get the kids to after-school activities. And, yes, there is shopping to do and your favorite TV shows to watch. Don't forget there is also a YOU to look after. Finding your refuge is one small step you can take to do that in 2009.

I hope you'll have a happy new year.

P.S. If you visit me at The Phoenix Traveler, you can enter a giveaway for a special treat from the Montelucia Resort.

How to look within

When we're in the midst of healing a broken past, we'll begin to look for answers by looking inward. It's a struggle, I know, to face what we might judge as our failures, our mistakes, our losses. But it's the only way to learn from the lessons our past can gift to us.

Choosing to look inward will give you the insights you need to see what changes might need to take place so that you don't go on repeating behaviors that haven't worked for you before now.

But how is that done, exactly?

Just take the first step, which is to begin spending time with yourself, alone. Make it a daily practice. If it means you leave the dog inside and take your walk alone, then do that. If it means you must dine alone, then do that. If it means you hop on a bike and ride, then, by all means, do that. Do whatever feels right to you.

It was when I rode my bike that I first began observing the pedal power. That's what had the most affect on me. That was where I started to see the growth that I needed to see in order to believe I was going somewhere. Your space might be different than mine was. There is no right or wrong space. It's what works for you. Your BIKE journey will not be the same as mine. It may be similar but it won't be the same. That's a benefit of this spiritual navigation tool--it's uniquely yours, to be created, developed and polished by you and you alone.

In the beginning of my BIKE journey, I had to have that time alone. I felt like I was suffocating, if I didn't get it. But there are others of you out there who may resist alone time. You may resist looking inward. It might not feel "normal." I understand. Later in my healing, I found resistance, too. Don't fear the resistance. It's natural. When change occurs, it feels uncomfortable. It feels unfamiliar. It feels like you're losing control. When you sense that resistance, as I have been lately, you'll begin to recognize that this is your ego getting in the way of your progress. It'll slip in there every now and then. Even years from now when you think you've long since been recovered, resistance may return in some form.

Be patient with yourself.

Go back to making space just for you. Make it more special this time, if that will help. Do what an interior designer suggested to me once when I was interviewing her for a story: "Create an afternoon tea party with just yourself." Take it one step further and turn on music in the background, something relaxing. Light a scented candle or incense. Breathe deeply. The breathing is especially important. It's one of the first things I forget to do when I'm in crisis mode. But the second I remember to focus on breathing, my personal space becomes calm again, and I can start to see clearly again. The experts don't tell us to count to ten when we're upset for nothing. It gives us time to check in with reality. You know that nothing is ever as bad as it seems. This is a reminder I've needed myself this past week or so. BIKE is my reminder.

Remember, BIKE includes the four elements of who you really are when you're being your Best self, accessing your Inner strength, paying attention to that Killer instinct, and using your Expressive voice. When you're not doing or being or achieving one or more of them, the mental aspect of BIKE reminds you of that as well. It works along side of your spiritual guide; it's always there. Waiting patiently, if necessary.

Your alone time gives you that time you need to reconnect with what it feels like to just be you. Doing it daily gives you the constant reminder you might need to stay sane. My BIKE saved me; yours will, too, if you're open to its power. When you begin to get comfortable defining it on your terms, you'll see exactly how you can use this mental BIKE to help push or pull you through even the most difficult days. You will not always have big burdensome challenges like you may be experiencing now, but you'll always have challenges to overcome, little ones, like an overcharge on the phone bill or a minor accident while on the way to work. It's okay. Your mental BIKE will help you deal, even if the dealing part occurs after the panic. With BIKE, there's always room for do-overs. As you continue to read this blog, you'll learn to trust your intuition. To do that, you'll need to look within. To look within takes time. And that time is better spent alone.

All my best,
Jackie