Blogathon 2012 -- Let the games begin!

Part of the celebration: new license plates!

The WordCount Blogathon 2012 has officially begun. Today marks the first day of 31 days of non-stop blogging with a blogging community you'll get to know during this next month here through BIKE WITH JACKIE. This time around my theme is all about the BIKE. In fact, to celebrate, I ordered new license plates -- vanity plates -- to represent my recommitment to the BIKE philosophy, or should I say my recommitment to write the book (memoir) about it.

As you may know, BIKE is an acronym that stands for what I see as the four key elements of who you are inside, what you're really made of, or, in other words, your core. It's a metaphor that leads you to:

1) find your Best self.
2) access your Inner strength.
3) develop your Killer instincts.
4) use your Expressive voice.

It's action-oriented. That means, it requires you to do something. There's good reason for that, and it's called taking responsibility.

Many of us were brought up without understanding who we really are, so we became what others wanted us to be, or what we thought others expected of us. We never stopped playing follow the leader, and we certainly didn't realize we could lead ourselves. I can what??? Nobody ever told me that.


Well, now you know.


Here, you learn a process that will show you how to identify the true core of your being. This identification as essential in order to live the life that best suits you. You. Not anyone else. To do that, of course you first must know yourself! It's not just me who believes this. "Know thyself" is a borrowed phrase from ancient Greece and before. Even Plato admitted it was a long-standing maxim when he used the phrase.

Okay, so while I'm not a Greek philosopher. What I am is experienced in the knowledge of what happens when you don't know yourself. You commit to relationships that are wrong for you. Been there. You take jobs that you hate. Done that. You say "yes" or "okay, fine," when you really mean "no." Do I have to tell you how many times I've done that? You could very well become a bitter person should this pattern continue. Whew! Shot past that one. When you don't know yourself, you act like someone else or for someone else. You don't feel like the you you really are, because you aren't, and you might not even realize on a conscious level why or that it's even going on. You don't have awareness.

But awareness is key.

I learned this first-hand during my bike rides to get through a three-year divorce. I witnessed the transformation and embraced it. What happened? Turns out that mind-body connection really works. I naturally used time on my mountain bike to assess and ponder what I was going through and how I wanted to respond. Taking in all the information that was coming my way -- advice from a good lawyer, financial consultation, friends' well-meaning jabs at the soon-to-be ex, and sisters on both sides who wanted me to "take him for all he's got" -- I processed. I knew right off that I wanted to respond in such a way that I'd be able to walk away from a marriage gone wrong with my head held high when all was said and done. I accomplished that. I didn't feel the need "take him for all he's got," I let the lawyers -- his and mine -- do their jobs. I just wanted my life back.

But first, I needed to reconnect with the me I knew I'd once been. She got lost somewhere between the "I do" and the "I'm done!" Intent on digging her back out, I wanted her to breathe air again. I believed in her.

And I'm not saying I didn't say or do things I shouldn't have, but I'm saying I made decisions methodically, strategically, thoughtfully, and I don't regret a thing. I could have had more. I might have had less. Whatever the case, I took care of myself. And I was able to do that because I listened and learned, appreciating that only I had the answers to how I would move past the unexpected pain. I had to trust I could take what was given to me and what I sought out for myself and use it wisely. Isn't that what we all really want when we're experiencing a life challenge? To come out of it still intact? To love ourselves when it's over?

Almost from that very first ride, I knew I was drawn to that bike for a reason. After all, it had been sitting in my garage for years. I hadn't ridden it but maybe a dozen times before. Maybe. So I knew there was a purpose to all of this. I just didn't know exactly what until much later. But I knew, and never let that knowledge stray. So I kept journals. Boxes full of them. 

And don't worry. This is not about riding a bike, though that's the tool I was drawn to use. You might be drawn to something else. Maybe running, hiking, sewing, fishing, boating, painting, writing, sketching, anything that is yours and yours alone. See, this is about finding that safe place to consider the challenges you're experiencing and to make sure you're responding in such a way that keeps you moving forward. It's your answer, not mine.

That doesn't mean you won't screw up, make mistakes and maybe even fail. What it does mean is that despite those screw ups, mistakes and failures, you will know how to overcome even those setbacks. They won't flatten your tire for too long. You'll be able to put the brakes on the stuff that threatens your success (even if it's just a mental pause, you know, like a negative thought or two or ten!), move them out of the way, and move on.

You'll be drawn to the things that will save you. You'll seek help where you know you can find it. You'll trust that you are doing what's right for you. And you'll walk away from your experiences feeling a sense of satisfaction and self-approval. You won't rely on others for that. And you will definitely reconnect with the spiritual guide you believe in to help lead the way. I think that, too, will come naturally, as we're all spiritual beings regardless of our awareness or lack thereof. That's what I believe.

If you don't know already, I teach what I call the "BIKE Lessons" in four-part increments, one letter at a time, to women in transition. I also give break-out presentations and keynotes to women's groups, business luncheons, and conference gatherings. My background has left me with a ton of stories to tell about each individual letter. It's why I can connect with my audience. Basically, I teach coping mechanisms, using the BIKE philosophy as the road guide. Just as my travel guide is a map to Arizona, guiding you to state thrills. My BIKE Lessons guide you to joy. Both are all about happy endings, and this is why I'm known as the BIKE LADY. It was a name given to me at a conference several years ago, and I've embraced it since then, mostly for the positive message it represents. Despite the challenges I've faced in life, I've had many things given to me, and that's what I want to give back: a positive return on your personal time investment. I want your time here to matter.

My BIKE is about moving forward. This is Day 1 of the Blogathon. For the next 30 days, we'll celebrate a sort of revival here. Maybe along the way, you'll reconnect with something that you've set aside and are on the verge or the fence about trying again. If so, I hope you'll share your story.

See you tomorrow? I hope so. 

Motivation for Mondays: The Artist's Way

It's official. I started another 12 weeks of working with Julia Cameron's masterpiece, The Artist's Way, today. It's a book that's been on my reading list for years, probably since the first time I read it in 1999. I've read it at least four more times since.

I especially encourage it for personal growth--and not just what it was written for--to unblock your creative energy.

The book and all that you do because of it becomes a great outside motivational force that transforms into an internal motivational force during the 12 weeks of reading it. But it's not just a book you read. As I mentioned, you do things because of it. It's 12 weeks of DIY therapy.

First, you learn about the benefits of journaling. Only Cameron calls this the act of writing your Morning Pages. You write three pages every morning for the full 12 weeks--and then hopefully continue the process once you've finished the book.

You are also required to take an Artist Date with yourself. This is the kind of date that you do alone, no one else allowed, to help open your mind to see and acknowledge new insights, inspirations, and guidance. Sometimes, we have to be reminded we need to be open to that. These special dates help unblock a stagnant life. And this is the main reason I was drawn back to Cameron's book--I knew I needed to revisit the Artist Date. I've been starved of this kind of self-nurturing. Without it, creativity is stymied, and you don't know what to do exactly with the creativity you have. My creative self has been in need of nourishment for quite some time, in very specific ways. And I am finally acknowledging my Killer instincts, which apparently were not as honed in as they needed to be. So I'm correcting that by working this book and scheduling the Artist Dates. Cameron calls this "filling the well."

After each chapter, for the next 12 weeks, Cameron has her readers doing exercises. There are several listed, but you don't have to do them all. You may spend approximately 10 hours a week with the book and its processes for the next 12 weeks, but it's worth it.

You see results: You'll gain clarity. You'll find solutions to inner challenges you knew you had but didn't know what to do about. You'll free your mind to think more creatively. And you'll get work done. I've doubled my productivity and my income each time I've committed fully to the process.

If you are in need of this kind of motivation and are willing to set aside the time to work this process, you will see positive results. Julia Cameron will change the way you think. And you don't have to be an artist to benefit from her wisdom. Lawyers, teachers, engineers, and artists of all kinds have experienced positive growth because of The Artist's Way.

If you've already heard of this book and have benefited from it, share with us your success story. If you're interested in going through the process with me, I'll be publishing a weekly check-in and would be happy to include you in on the process. We can work the program together for added motivation. Just let me know by posting a comment below.

Motivation for Mondays is a part of a weekly Twitter party called #MotivatedMondays initiated by Lorrie Shaw, a professional pet sitter, a regular pets contributor at annarbor.com, and pet blogger in Dexter Township, MI. Together, we post a combination of inspirational notes, links to motivational blog posts, and tips to help kickstart your week ahead. Look for us online every Monday morning--and throughout the day--if you need to kick start your week or want to share your own motivational thoughts.

Signs and words of inspiration

How many times in any given year do you hear a quote that sticks in your mind? Maybe you write it down, like I do, or record it in a journal, which I also might do. And I bet there's been many times when someone told you a story that sounded so interesting, so funny or so (fill-in-the-blank) that you couldn't wait to repeat it.

That happened to me yesterday morning on the car ride home from my friend's house where I was having coffee. Tuning in to the "Beth & Friends" morning show on 99.9 KEZ radio (Miss you Bill Austin!), I didn't turn the radio on in time to catch the start of the conversation. But I caught what I thought was the important line:

"If you have to know the 'something,' you have to know the pain."

The guest speaker, Fred Rawlins, a regular on the show, was addressing a concern the caller had with her boyfriend. Rawlins, a psychic, was telling this particular caller that if she didn't feel right about her man, if there was something that caused her concern, she should pay attention to that. Her intuition is reminding her to be cautious. He told her that it really shouldn't matter what that 'something' is..."If you have to know the 'something,' you have to know the pain."

Now, I'm not normally a fan of psychics, but I understood his warning. His words impressed me. They made sense to me.

Who knows if the caller will heed the expert's words, but it reminded me of my own mistake with not paying attention to my intuition in times past. I refer to this here as your Killer instincts. They hone in directly on what you need to notice--for your own protection. But in my past life, I did not pay attention to the warning signs, though they were there. I didn't trust my instincts so ignored them. I second-guessed myself constantly. And I did, indeed, have to know what that "something" was. I wanted proof why my boyfriend at the time wasn't good for me. I would eventually find out after I married him, but I would have to go through a lot of pain to get there, the same kind of pain this psychic mentions.

I'm curious, then, what your story is with regard to the "somethings" in your lives. Have you been able to recognize the warnings and move on, or have you been like me, needing to know what it was--and then paying for it later?

This expert's words of inspiration in a single quote sends an important message: you don't have to know everything. You just have to trust your instincts when they speak to you. I prefer knowing I am able to trust myself to know the truth now--even, and especially, if the truth is not spelled out clearly. I don't have to have all the answers up front. I can pay attention to the warning signs. I can see them clearly. I listen to what they're trying to tell me and act accordingly.

How about you? I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments about this, especially since this is the first time I've ever heard the warning stated so simply. "If you have to know the 'something,' you have to know the pain."

I vote for simply paying attention to the warning signs. I vote for saving yourself from the pain. How about you?

Making tough decisions

This week has been a trying one for me, filled with a few unexpected--and a few unwanted--challenges.

Only one of them was I able to resolve so far. I had to make a decision to stop blogging for b5media.com, which hosts my travel blog The Phoenix Traveler . I love blogging about Phoenix travel and beyond. It's so much fun. And I'll continue doing that, but I'll have to begin from scratch a few months down the road--after I finish my travel book project. But on my current travel blog, well, I'll be posting my last post on or about January 23.

The thing is, timing is everything, and when a new contract with the company came my way a few days ago, wanting a decision on a new venture it wanted for itself, I had to decline. I wasn't sure I wanted it for myself. My old contract was cancelled in order for b5media to partner with a new company I didn't know anything about. And without enough time for me to investigate the company--I'm in the last days of finishing my book project, and that's where my concentration mostly needs to be--I felt the need to say no the new offer, and the new contract.

I'm a little bummed, because I didn't really want to stop blogging about travel at The Phoenix Traveler. Still, it seems that, in the face of that so-called loss, a new opportunity has come my way. In addition to beginning soon a new blog related to my very first book that comes out at the end of this year, I may be starting something of a joint venture with someone myself. Another writer has asked me to join her in a new project, blogging about budget travel in the Phoenix area. Both new enterprises should be fun. And even though I'm sorry to say goodbye to The Phoenix Traveler--I worked very hard to get it started and run it for the seven or eight months that I did--I'm excited about the possibilities of new ventures and new projects in 2009.

It was a tough decision. It took me some time to think about it and decide how I might proceed. When I realized I didn't have enough time to consider the matter more seriously, I went with my gut. My decision fell in line perfectly with my BIKE philosophy, particularly the K. Killer instinct. I went with my gut. What was my body telling me? As hard as it was, I listened. I paid attention. And because of that, I was able to make the decision that was right for me and move on.

There's been another discussion about using that gut instinct lately. Another writer I know, in fact, also at b5media, posted about this just this week, after we'd been discussing lack of payment issues at FreelanceSuccess.com. It's interesting to see just how important gut instinct is, but the gut doesn't work unless you make use of it. That's why, here, I use the bolder phrase. We all have instincts. We all have the ability to sense things. But, we don't always pay attention. We don't always trust that gut. When you're in tune with your body and know what it feels like in both normal and abnormal circumstances, then you can make appropriate and safe use of what I call your Killer instincts. They're "killer" because they're tuned in on the target. They're watching out for you. They're not only important for survival, but they're also important if you intend to thrive in a world that is always going to drop a challenge or two at your doorstep.

Do you have any decisions you need to make that you've been stalling on because you're unsure what to do? I urge you to trust what your body's trying to tell you. The answer is there if you just tune in.

All my best,
Jackie

Want a lesson on what you're not worth?

Then let me clue you in on what happened this morning on "Divorce Court."

Judge Lynn Toler presides over this one, and I watched it only briefly, while eating my breakfast, but this particular show was a doosey.

I couldn't stand to watch the entire thing but here's what happened in the beginning, and I think you'll get the picture:

A man and wife are getting divorced, so they appear in front of the judge. The woman is explaining a chart she's made for her case that he be required to pay her $400 a month in support. Included on the chart are the following items:

Do the dishes three times a day: $25
Mop the floors three times a day: $25
Cook three HOMEMADE meals daily: $45
Take care of the kids (They have six.): $30

Now, understand that she's saying she wants her soon-to-be ex to pay her, and that these numbers represent a MONTHLY figure that would total only $400. With numbers so low, you can imagine the length of this list.

The kicker for me was this one: She mows the lawn once a week and asked for a whopping $40. The judge asked her why so much for that job when she's only asking for about half that to do the dishes and mop the floors, both three-times-DAILY chores. "It's a man's job," she told the judge, matter-of-factly.

I literally gasped out loud when I heard that reply.

It's sad to see what messages she's been given...that her own skills and contributions are worth so little, and that a man's job should pay more.

But there is so much more that is wrong with this scenario, and the way the judge responded to her--just with voice inflection alone--you could tell Judge Toler wanted to teach this woman a better way to rate herself. But this woman's perspective is just so skewed it's scary.

This list of chores, we find out, when the husband speaks, comes from a list he gave her prior to their marriage. So, had her Killer instincts been turned on, this woman might have turned around and run the other way before marrying the man. But it's clear that she wasn't in tune with her real worth, not at all. Clearly, this woman has learned to accept very little and to not know her true value as a human being, let alone as a wife and a mother of six. It just makes you want to shake some sense into her head. It makes you wonder what her own mother put up with in her homelife. And you can probably imagine.

And then we learn a little more about the husband. He makes $1800 a month. He wants to have 12 kids. And he'll take his wife out, alright, "when I know she's being good." This is what he actually tells the judge and the whole viewing audience. You can tell he's absolutely serious.

Um, thanks, but no thanks.

He then goes on a tirade about the time she had the nerve to serve him a Hot Pocket for dinner. "I expect homecooked meals when I get home from work," he says. Not only that, but he expects her to run his bath, too!

Omigod! 'Nuff said.

Before I turned the TV off, I heard the judge ask the woman, "Now, he wants all of this, but what does he do for you?"

"Besides get on my nerves?" she quipped, "Well, we're both the same sign. We're both Gemini."

They're the same sign. That's it. That's what she gets out of the marriage. No dates. No haircuts. No flowers. No nothing. Because they're the same sign? What's that phrase, "like attracts like"?

UNbelieveable.

Of course, this is an extreme example of what happens when you low ball your value. You really do get what you ask for--in your personal and professional life--and you really are worth only what you think you are. That means you gotta think highly of yourself. Work hard at NOT letting the messages from the past get in the way of your success today. And remember that the numbers you attach to yourself mean something. Make sure you are in control of the definition....

AND if like is going to attract like in your life, ignite a positive match. Don't you agree?

All my best,
Jackie