Then let me clue you in on what happened this morning on "Divorce Court."
Judge Lynn Toler presides over this one, and I watched it only briefly, while eating my breakfast, but this particular show was a doosey.
I couldn't stand to watch the entire thing but here's what happened in the beginning, and I think you'll get the picture:
A man and wife are getting divorced, so they appear in front of the judge. The woman is explaining a chart she's made for her case that he be required to pay her $400 a month in support. Included on the chart are the following items:
Do the dishes three times a day: $25
Mop the floors three times a day: $25
Cook three HOMEMADE meals daily: $45
Take care of the kids (They have six.): $30
Now, understand that she's saying she wants her soon-to-be ex to pay her, and that these numbers represent a MONTHLY figure that would total only $400. With numbers so low, you can imagine the length of this list.
The kicker for me was this one: She mows the lawn once a week and asked for a whopping $40. The judge asked her why so much for that job when she's only asking for about half that to do the dishes and mop the floors, both three-times-DAILY chores. "It's a man's job," she told the judge, matter-of-factly.
I literally gasped out loud when I heard that reply.
It's sad to see what messages she's been given...that her own skills and contributions are worth so little, and that a man's job should pay more.
But there is so much more that is wrong with this scenario, and the way the judge responded to her--just with voice inflection alone--you could tell Judge Toler wanted to teach this woman a better way to rate herself. But this woman's perspective is just so skewed it's scary.
This list of chores, we find out, when the husband speaks, comes from a list he gave her prior to their marriage. So, had her Killer instincts been turned on, this woman might have turned around and run the other way before marrying the man. But it's clear that she wasn't in tune with her real worth, not at all. Clearly, this woman has learned to accept very little and to not know her true value as a human being, let alone as a wife and a mother of six. It just makes you want to shake some sense into her head. It makes you wonder what her own mother put up with in her homelife. And you can probably imagine.
And then we learn a little more about the husband. He makes $1800 a month. He wants to have 12 kids. And he'll take his wife out, alright, "when I know she's being good." This is what he actually tells the judge and the whole viewing audience. You can tell he's absolutely serious.
Um, thanks, but no thanks.
He then goes on a tirade about the time she had the nerve to serve him a Hot Pocket for dinner. "I expect homecooked meals when I get home from work," he says. Not only that, but he expects her to run his bath, too!
Omigod! 'Nuff said.
Before I turned the TV off, I heard the judge ask the woman, "Now, he wants all of this, but what does he do for you?"
"Besides get on my nerves?" she quipped, "Well, we're both the same sign. We're both Gemini."
They're the same sign. That's it. That's what she gets out of the marriage. No dates. No haircuts. No flowers. No nothing. Because they're the same sign? What's that phrase, "like attracts like"?
Of course, this is an extreme example of what happens when you low ball your value. You really do get what you ask for--in your personal and professional life--and you really are worth only what you think you are. That means you gotta think highly of yourself. Work hard at NOT letting the messages from the past get in the way of your success today. And remember that the numbers you attach to yourself mean something. Make sure you are in control of the definition....
AND if like is going to attract like in your life, ignite a positive match. Don't you agree?
All my best,