As I mentioned yesterday, this week we focus on Reminders. What do you use to remind yourself a) you're in recovery, b) you're HEALING from whatever put you there, NOT staying in it, and c) you have the ability to overcome it OR move past it.
I often use other people's stories to remind me where I'm at and how far I've come. OR I use them to remind me of what I'm doing to deal with it. Here's one I found today. It came to me via a prospecting e-list called HARO (Help A Reporter Out):
"I'm writing a profile of an executive who's a disciplined mixed martial arts practitioner," the journalist wrote. "He's been at it for almost 20 years and is particularly focused on Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu." Okay, not so interesting to me, personally, but I read on..."The primary angle here is that the practice bleeds into this man's business life, helping him stay in the moment." OKAY! Now, I'm interested!
The reporter went on to say that his source is able to stay "focused on clients' needs. He doesn't tend to get knocked off his game." He was looking for executives with similar experiences with this sort of disciplined physical practice to discuss how it helps create a balanced, competitive edge on the job.
I totally get that. That's what riding a bicycle did for me. It helped me stay focused on my mission--to move past my divorce without holding onto the bitterness that often clouds a divorcing person's heart, mind and soul. When your thoughts are clouded from bitterness, you don't think clearly, you don't act smartly, and you don't move past the pain. You stay stuck.
So a story like this reminds me why I did what I did and why I continue to do it. Because it worked. Riding that mountain bike helped me accomplish a very important goal and turn what might have been a huge obstacle into an opportunity. It gave me a new career.
It wasn't just the mere fact that I rode; it's what happened while I rode. I gave myself time. I had time to think, to process, to make room for creative solutions, and I solved the challenge I was confronting at the time with my dignity and self-respect intact. It made me AWARE of exactly how much I could accomplish when I stayed in the moment.
It was a discipline I practiced regularly for three years. That was the lifespan of my marital divorce. And let me tell you, without that bike, I wouldn't have handled it so well. My bike served as the scaffolding that helped keep me steady when my world threatened to collapse around me. Don't get me wrong. Parts of it inevitably did collapse. But those parts were reparable. Breakage is reparable.
Stories like the guy's mentioned above remind me of that.
Have you ever used other people's stories in this way? If so, share with us here how that worked for you.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
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