In life, in work, with our families, we all need to take stock of where we are, where we want to go, and what we're doing to get there--especially if you notice lack of movement in a particular area. It's good to keep track so you can stay on task. Otherwise, it's too easy to get distracted.
Thus, here at BIKE WITH JACKIE, it's time to take stock of what we've discussed so far this month. For me, personally, I want to know where to take you next. So here's my Recovery recap:
Day 1: We began by starting a Blogathon with a group of speaker friends from the Arizona chapter of the National Speakers Association. This shows you we don't have to work alone. We can bring people in with us to help advance progress.
Day 2: Next, we discussed the importance of "letting go" the things that hold us back.
Day 3: We next were reminded that, even though we'll have them, we CAN move past the setbacks during Recovery.
Day 4: To be able to move forward, we had to learn a few coping skills or learn to embrace the ones we already have.
Day 5: We discussed the great things about us as a reminder to affirm ourselves.
Day 6: I'm a big fan of writing down your thoughts, so I added journaling as something very important to do during Recovery.
Day 7: Then we got to relish in the breakthroughs, thank goodness.
Day 8: After all that hard work in Week One, it was time to nurture ourselves.
Day 9: Of course, we don't want to forget to celebrate our goodness.
Day 10: And we must always remember to take down time, to give our body, mind and spirit the rest that it deserves.
Day 11: We learned on this day to avoid those absolutes, to stop awfulizing and begin seeing things as they really are.
Day 12: Some of us have to work on some of these things more frequently than others. I have to work on the one we discussed on this day: simplifying life.
Day 13: And isn't it grand when we realize we can simply start over?
Day 14: Another way to work your Recovery is to think about others. This way you're not just focusing on your problems. You realize others have problems, too. What can you do to help them?
Day 15: At the halfway point, we were reminded to have fun and think about 15 Things you love or plan to do, or anything at all. It was a free-writing exercise.
Today, we're reminded to take stock, to look back and review our progress. Every day gives us another chance to move forward in life. If we focus on what we're doing to make that happen, we can't go wrong.
In this next week, think about what forward movement looks like to you. What we discuss at BIKE WITH JACKIE is meant only to give you ideas. There's no right or wrong. Your Recovery, in other words, your Success, can only be prescribed by you. If you need to draw a picture of what it looks like, do that. If you need to write out a list, that's a good idea. Give yourself ten minutes every morning this week to consider this. If something sparks an idea, write it down. It might be helpful to keep a Success Journal where you can keep track of your progress in whatever way that works for you.
Have a great weekend!
Showing posts with label success strategies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label success strategies. Show all posts
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Confidence building--it's up to you
We learn at a young age to rely on others to build us up. Our parents and other immediate family members help us feel special as children with their cheers and rewards for good behavior. When we head off to school, our teachers help create an encouraging environment where we can learn and excel. They might use sticky stars and small gifts. At work, our bosses take over. When we get that promotion or that raise, we know we did a good job, and we feel good for it.
But what about those times when we don't feel so great, when we don't do so well, when we even feel less than what we are...and the people around us aren't cheering us on. It's during those times, when we must rely on ourselves for the pick-me-ups. Do you know how?
If you're not prepared to boost your own confidence on the days when you need it most, here are a few thoughts to move you in that direction. I call them rules for building confidence, or confidence builders. In the last few weeks, while thinking about and dealing with the death of my friend and colleague Jean McFarland, I needed them. You may have seen them on Twitter, but I'll explain them more fully here:
Confidence builder #1: Move toward your goal--even if it's one timid or tentative step at a time.
You don't have to take giant leaps or move very far to see that you're going forward with a plan, an idea, or an assignment you want to complete. Writing down goals is one thing. But actually taking the steps to reach them is quite another. If there's something you want to accomplish today but haven't yet done anything about it, pick one thing--just one--and do it. Make that call. Draft the letter. Read the chapter in that book. Whatever it is, just do it. If some voice in your head tries to turn you in another direction, away from the work, resist the temptation. If the snack machine or refrigerator is calling out to you, or the dishes in the sink are screaming bloody murder because they need to be washed, ignore those calls. Remind yourself that doing just one thing today to make success happen in your life tomorrow is the only way it's going to happen. You'll be amazed by how good you will feel afterward.
Confidence Builder #2: Celebrate each success--no matter how small-- with a gift. Make it something tangible--no matter how small.
I am big on celebrating achievements. I don't wait for others to celebrate with me. I don't expect anyone else to understand my joy. I just make sure that whatever I accomplish is celebrated, if by no one else than by me alone. I know I might be the only one to fully get what I'm doing. So I don't wait. Here are few examples of what I mean:
Confidence Builder #3: No matter how difficult it is to convict yourself, own responsibility for your mistakes.
Sometimes it really stinks to take responsibility for the things we do wrong in our lives. Certainly, we don't mean to hurt a friend or lover. Certainly, they know that. Accidents happen. Mistakes happen. Things go wrong when you least expect it, even if you did cause it to occur. You probably didn't mean it, right? If you had to appologize for every little thing, you'd never stop talking, would you? Well, don't stop then. Go ahead and apologize. Own that mishap, and then be sure to find a way to let the person wounded know you really mean it. Maybe you'll have to repair or replace something. Maybe you'll have to re-do the work. Maybe you'll have to lose a friend. But ignoring a problem, or pretending nothing happened won't make the issue disappear. It'll be there, nagging at you. You'll feel so much better about yourself if you just own responsibility. The result might turn out better than you think.
Confidence Builder #4: Treat your physical body with the respect it deserves. Just as you exercise your mind, exercise your body.
There's no doubt that when you look good, you feel good. When you treat yourself right, you're happiest. And when you respect yourself, others will do the same. How do you know if you're respecting yourself? By paying attention to how you feel. When was the last time you visited the doctor for the check up, or had your teeth cleaned, or engaged in physical exercise. Taking care of your physical self requires action on your part. When you take positive action, you'll see positive results. It may take time, but it'll happen. And won't you feel better then?
Confidence Builder #5: Accept that life is one big practice game...and you can have as many do-overs as you need.
This is my favorite rule, because it basically says that even if you forget or even refuse to do any of the above, you get another chance. You can wait till later, till you're more comfortable with yourself. You can procrastinate and pause, because we're not perfect. And there are no guarantees. But if you keep this idea in the back of your mind, you'll know--with each faux pas--there's a do-over waiting for you. You don't have to get it right. You don't even have to judge. Maybe you'll experience a sense of freedom when you realize this, and then that makes the doing all the more easier. No pressure. If whatever steps you need to take don't work quite the way you thought the first time out, you can relax in knowing it's okay. You can change your mind, you can try again, you can press repeat. You can take as many steps as needed until it all works out.
And it will.
For a person with confidence, it always will.
But what about those times when we don't feel so great, when we don't do so well, when we even feel less than what we are...and the people around us aren't cheering us on. It's during those times, when we must rely on ourselves for the pick-me-ups. Do you know how?
If you're not prepared to boost your own confidence on the days when you need it most, here are a few thoughts to move you in that direction. I call them rules for building confidence, or confidence builders. In the last few weeks, while thinking about and dealing with the death of my friend and colleague Jean McFarland, I needed them. You may have seen them on Twitter, but I'll explain them more fully here:
Confidence builder #1: Move toward your goal--even if it's one timid or tentative step at a time.
You don't have to take giant leaps or move very far to see that you're going forward with a plan, an idea, or an assignment you want to complete. Writing down goals is one thing. But actually taking the steps to reach them is quite another. If there's something you want to accomplish today but haven't yet done anything about it, pick one thing--just one--and do it. Make that call. Draft the letter. Read the chapter in that book. Whatever it is, just do it. If some voice in your head tries to turn you in another direction, away from the work, resist the temptation. If the snack machine or refrigerator is calling out to you, or the dishes in the sink are screaming bloody murder because they need to be washed, ignore those calls. Remind yourself that doing just one thing today to make success happen in your life tomorrow is the only way it's going to happen. You'll be amazed by how good you will feel afterward.
Confidence Builder #2: Celebrate each success--no matter how small-- with a gift. Make it something tangible--no matter how small.
I am big on celebrating achievements. I don't wait for others to celebrate with me. I don't expect anyone else to understand my joy. I just make sure that whatever I accomplish is celebrated, if by no one else than by me alone. I know I might be the only one to fully get what I'm doing. So I don't wait. Here are few examples of what I mean:
- When I first started freelancing, I wrote short stories, poetry, and essays. I had no idea what I was doing really. I just knew I needed to write. So I did. I didn't wait for people to hire me. I just wrote whatever came to mind. And then I started researching markets and networking. When I sold my first poem, I was paid only $10, but I was really proud of myself. So when that check arrived in the mailbox, and before I cashed it, I photocopied it and tacked it on the bulletin board. I still have that check. It's still a positive reminder.
- During my divorce that seemed neverending, I was so relieved as each stage of the process passed. After each hearing, or meeting with lawyers, or whatever other steps I needed to take were taken, I celebrated by going out to lunch. I went wherever I wanted to go, and I ordered whatever I wanted to order. including dessert and coffee. I didn't hold back. I just let myself enjoy the moment. That was my pat on the back. It gave me something to look forward to during what was otherwise a lonely experience. I found a way to make it a little less lonely--and surprisingly special.
- Once there was a really big job that I wanted so very badly. I knew I had to approach the editor with just the right words and just the right enthusiasm and just the right clips. I asked people in sales what they would do. I got input from other writers. And then I did the work that netted me the job. I was so thrilled, I went out with friends to celebrate, arriving purposefully early so I could be by myself to relish the success. I ordered the most expensive glass of wine in the house. When my friends showed up, they ordered me another--and when I told them how much it was ($17), they didn't even flinch. I felt amazing on so many levels.
So celebrate your successes--big and small. Do whatever you can--within reason, of course--to make sure you own your "big deal". Gather friends to help you celebrate, of course. But learn to celebrate and get comfortable being happy for the person that success means the most--you (and your spiritual creator).
Confidence Builder #3: No matter how difficult it is to convict yourself, own responsibility for your mistakes.
Sometimes it really stinks to take responsibility for the things we do wrong in our lives. Certainly, we don't mean to hurt a friend or lover. Certainly, they know that. Accidents happen. Mistakes happen. Things go wrong when you least expect it, even if you did cause it to occur. You probably didn't mean it, right? If you had to appologize for every little thing, you'd never stop talking, would you? Well, don't stop then. Go ahead and apologize. Own that mishap, and then be sure to find a way to let the person wounded know you really mean it. Maybe you'll have to repair or replace something. Maybe you'll have to re-do the work. Maybe you'll have to lose a friend. But ignoring a problem, or pretending nothing happened won't make the issue disappear. It'll be there, nagging at you. You'll feel so much better about yourself if you just own responsibility. The result might turn out better than you think.
Confidence Builder #4: Treat your physical body with the respect it deserves. Just as you exercise your mind, exercise your body.
There's no doubt that when you look good, you feel good. When you treat yourself right, you're happiest. And when you respect yourself, others will do the same. How do you know if you're respecting yourself? By paying attention to how you feel. When was the last time you visited the doctor for the check up, or had your teeth cleaned, or engaged in physical exercise. Taking care of your physical self requires action on your part. When you take positive action, you'll see positive results. It may take time, but it'll happen. And won't you feel better then?
Confidence Builder #5: Accept that life is one big practice game...and you can have as many do-overs as you need.
This is my favorite rule, because it basically says that even if you forget or even refuse to do any of the above, you get another chance. You can wait till later, till you're more comfortable with yourself. You can procrastinate and pause, because we're not perfect. And there are no guarantees. But if you keep this idea in the back of your mind, you'll know--with each faux pas--there's a do-over waiting for you. You don't have to get it right. You don't even have to judge. Maybe you'll experience a sense of freedom when you realize this, and then that makes the doing all the more easier. No pressure. If whatever steps you need to take don't work quite the way you thought the first time out, you can relax in knowing it's okay. You can change your mind, you can try again, you can press repeat. You can take as many steps as needed until it all works out.
And it will.
For a person with confidence, it always will.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Success comes by the numbers
At least that's what I'm thinking today. I have a book that's due to the publisher February 1, and all I can think about is how many words I have left to write and edit before then.
With each 1,000 words I write, I count that as an achievement for the moment. It doesn't matter that I have to edit them before they can be considered complete.
But it will. As the days press on, I can tell I'm in need of lots more moments.
I suppose I could say success comes by the photo as well. In addition to the 50,000 words due, I also have to turn in about 100 photos. I'm missing some, so I'll be digging soon, or getting on the road to get them. Whatever it takes to get the job done on time.
So tell me, what's your definition of success today? Does it change by the project, by the day, by the hour? As you think about that, consider what keeps you on track to reach this success.
Lots to think about, I know, but as I mention frequently here, awareness is such an important factor in forward movement. And we're moving forward...word by word, photo by photo, day by day, minute by minute. Whatever it takes.
With each 1,000 words I write, I count that as an achievement for the moment. It doesn't matter that I have to edit them before they can be considered complete.
But it will. As the days press on, I can tell I'm in need of lots more moments.
I suppose I could say success comes by the photo as well. In addition to the 50,000 words due, I also have to turn in about 100 photos. I'm missing some, so I'll be digging soon, or getting on the road to get them. Whatever it takes to get the job done on time.
So tell me, what's your definition of success today? Does it change by the project, by the day, by the hour? As you think about that, consider what keeps you on track to reach this success.
Lots to think about, I know, but as I mention frequently here, awareness is such an important factor in forward movement. And we're moving forward...word by word, photo by photo, day by day, minute by minute. Whatever it takes.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Self-improvement: the journey begins with you
About this time of year, we begin to examine what we've accomplished in the past. Whether it's this past year, the past five years, or in our lives up to now. Some of us will come up with New Year's Resolutions. Some of us will just create a list of more things to do. And some of us will continue moving through life without a plan.
I'm a planner myself. I like to have an idea of where I'm going before I set off on the trail to find whatever it is I'm looking for. I do kind of like to know what's up ahead. But sometimes, that's not possible. Up ahead may be obstacles I'm not aware of or don't know might step out in front of me, trying to block the way.
If this happens to you, do you know how you will respond? Will you accept the obstacle for what it is and work toward figuring out a way around it, over it, or under it? Will you stumble and not know which way to turn? Will you stand still, paralyzed from fear or shame or guilt? Perhaps you just might sit down right there on the path and wait for someone to come and show you the way out.
If you intend to continue moving forward in 2009, it might be a good idea to get to know your personal philosophy when it comes to dealing with obstacles. There is no wrong or right answer; it just has to do what will work best for you in your situation. And it's a good idea to have options to consider, so you have processes to can test to find your answer.
With the world economy the way it is, we can all relate to a bit of uncertainty that may not have been there this time last year. The benefit of this is that it means we are not alone. I think that's a good message to take with you into the new year. Know that you are not alone.
As you continue to improve your life, creating the success you know you deserve, help me help you and others out there to create a plan that will work for each of us. In order to move beyond the obstacles that we have experienced in the past, are dealing with now, or might face in the future, post a comment today. Tell me about the strategies you've found most helpful to overcome any of the following:
_a divorce
_the loss of a job
_death of a close relative
_guilt from past mistakes
_unresolved relationship issues
_difficult work environment
_financial concerns
_overscheduled calendar
_transportation problems
_household budget challenges
_unimployment
At some point or another in my life, I've experienced all of the above, and I can tell you from this experience that you will never be without a challenge of some kind. Life comes with lots of layers. That's what makes it most interesting. You'll confront good things, sometimes really awful times, and frequently surprising outcomes. Although we may not always know how to prepare for something that might be upsetting, might seem difficult to handle, or might result in joy we didn't even know to expect, the unknowns won't matter so much if you're prepared to respond, no matter what.
Together, we can offer suggestions, thoughts and ideas that might help. You see, it's called self-improvement for good reason. That's where the journey begins.
Thanks, in advance, for your comments.
I'm a planner myself. I like to have an idea of where I'm going before I set off on the trail to find whatever it is I'm looking for. I do kind of like to know what's up ahead. But sometimes, that's not possible. Up ahead may be obstacles I'm not aware of or don't know might step out in front of me, trying to block the way.
If this happens to you, do you know how you will respond? Will you accept the obstacle for what it is and work toward figuring out a way around it, over it, or under it? Will you stumble and not know which way to turn? Will you stand still, paralyzed from fear or shame or guilt? Perhaps you just might sit down right there on the path and wait for someone to come and show you the way out.
If you intend to continue moving forward in 2009, it might be a good idea to get to know your personal philosophy when it comes to dealing with obstacles. There is no wrong or right answer; it just has to do what will work best for you in your situation. And it's a good idea to have options to consider, so you have processes to can test to find your answer.
With the world economy the way it is, we can all relate to a bit of uncertainty that may not have been there this time last year. The benefit of this is that it means we are not alone. I think that's a good message to take with you into the new year. Know that you are not alone.
As you continue to improve your life, creating the success you know you deserve, help me help you and others out there to create a plan that will work for each of us. In order to move beyond the obstacles that we have experienced in the past, are dealing with now, or might face in the future, post a comment today. Tell me about the strategies you've found most helpful to overcome any of the following:
_a divorce
_the loss of a job
_death of a close relative
_guilt from past mistakes
_unresolved relationship issues
_difficult work environment
_financial concerns
_overscheduled calendar
_transportation problems
_household budget challenges
_unimployment
At some point or another in my life, I've experienced all of the above, and I can tell you from this experience that you will never be without a challenge of some kind. Life comes with lots of layers. That's what makes it most interesting. You'll confront good things, sometimes really awful times, and frequently surprising outcomes. Although we may not always know how to prepare for something that might be upsetting, might seem difficult to handle, or might result in joy we didn't even know to expect, the unknowns won't matter so much if you're prepared to respond, no matter what.
Together, we can offer suggestions, thoughts and ideas that might help. You see, it's called self-improvement for good reason. That's where the journey begins.
Thanks, in advance, for your comments.
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