Fueling obsessions

Sometimes, I feel like a stalker of bikes, bicyclists or anything bike-related. I'm obsessed, actually. Anytime I see a bike, anywhere, I take photo of it. If it's possible.

This morning, my friend and I went for a hike in the Phoenix Mountain Preserve, near a place called the Dreamy Draw. She lives nearby, so I met her at her place, and we walked over from there. Somehow, we got off-trail -- Somehow? We weren't paying attention, because we were talking and laughing so much -- and stopped to take some photos of us standing in front of a giant saguaro and the surrounding scenery. Just having a grand old time.

All of a sudden, I saw them coming down another trail and stopped to daydream. I love riding my mountain bike on trails...I wish my friend had a sturdy enough bike for rides like theirs. I got lost in my thoughts for a few seconds. Since my friend still had her camera out, I asked her to take a picture of the two guys coming at us on mountain bikes. She did and sent the above photo to me so I could use it here.

With the desert in the foreground, the riders on the horizon, and that blue sky, I think it's a nice shot. Not clear enough. But nice enough to fuel my obsession.

When the bikers came down the trail and passed us, shouting out a happy hello, you could hear their tires rolling over the rocky terrain. Not too rocky, but a fairly even downhill slope. Not too steep, but enough of a ride to get the adrenalin going. Made me wish I were them.

On the other hand, this picture reminds me that I don't have to just observe. I can do. Tomorrow, I'll go out there for a ride of my own. I'll have to stick to easier terrain, since I'll be on my own, but I'll be out there with my helmet and gloves on, ready to eat some dust.

What do you do to fuel your obsessions?

Images, symbols and metaphors

Since the day I learned I could scoot right off a ski lift without forcing myself to fall down into the snow -- get this, for fear I'd fall -- I've been a fan of visualization. Before that, I operated on too many fears. But the second I learned just exactly how powerful the mind can be, that you really can do things you put your mind to, it woke me up to a new sense of power.

The ski lift story happened in Telluride. I was with my family on a holiday break. We went skiing, of course. But I'm no expert now, and I certainly wasn't then, so I took a one-on-one class with a very cute ski instructor -- on the bunny hill. I did well enough that first day that he sent me off with the then husband up the lifts. I was nervous as hell. For the first four or five times up the lift, it never failed, when we'd get near the top of the hill, and it was time to get off the chair, I'd start to feel anxious. The nerves rattled me. In my head, I'd be telling myself, "What the hell am I doing? I don't know how to ski? I'm going to fall." And, sure enough, when it was time to get off, I'd purposefully fall off because I wanted to feel in control of the fall. Each time, the chair lift operator would have to stop the lift to make sure I was okay and safely out of the way for the next skiers to get off the lift.

Finally, my then husband said to me, "Just visualize yourself scooting off the chair at the right time, standing up at the right time, and pushing yourself off with the poles and away from the chair without falling. Just visualize that all the way through the exit, and you'll be fine. You can do it."

Of course, in my mind, I was pooh-poohing the idea but decided to give it a try.

As we neared the top of the hill, he told me to scoot myself forward, closer to the edge (What? Are you trying to kill me?), and get my poles ready on both sides to push myself off the chair when it was time. "Sit up straight," he said, so I would be alert and prepared. "Now!" he yelled, "Stand up and push!" He did the same. All the while, he reminded me to visualize a successful exit onto the snow. I followed his orders.

At the precise moment when I was supposed to scoot and stand, I did it. I visualized myself skiing right down the little slope and toward the left where the ski runs were. And I did it. No falling. A little off-balance. But it worked. I was still standing, with the poles in my hand. I had skied off the lift. Visualization worked.

I've been a fan ever since.

I wasn't yet 30, and I think that's about the time when I began to purposefully collect things that reminded me of success. I'd done that all my life, of course. I think most of us do. But from then on, it was with more understanding of the power behind the image. I'd keep the fortunes in fortune cookies. I'd write quotes down and post them on bulletin boards to see. And when I sold my first poem -- for a whopping $10 -- I kept a copy of the check as a reminder. I still have it.

It wasn't surprising to me, then, when during one of life's more common, yet unexpected, downfalls -- divorce -- I needed a positive image then as well. I adopted the bike because it's what helped get me through. Not only did I ride the bike during the divorce, but I transformed it into a metaphor that helps me overcome whatever life obstacles get in my way. I also collect images and symbols that represent the bike. I have notebooks, greeting cards, a painting. Yes, I even bought a painting at an art gallery once, just because of an image of a girl and her bike having a grand time riding downhill was on it. I couldn't resist the feeling I felt when I saw it. All positive. It made me happy, and it fits my metaphor. It fits my life.

Neither should it be surprising that, after giving my BIKE speech time after time, the moniker "Bike Lady" followed. There are times when I know people think it's simply about riding bikes, and I've wondered whether I should let the moniker go. But I'm holding on. I'm trusting in the metaphor to continue teaching me, so I can continue teaching others.

The point is, maybe you have something that you use to help get you through tough times. Maybe there's an image or a symbol or a metaphor that you use. Maybe it's a favorite phrase or quote. Maybe you don't have yours yet. Or maybe you just haven't noticed. But I bet it's there, tucked away in some cubby hole in the closet or inside a secret box under your bed, or parked in the garage. I believe we all need attachments such as these to help us slug through the muddy waters of our own sometimes swampy life. That's what the BIKE is all about. It's a tool to use to get you through, to keep you moving forward.

I've embraced mine. How about you?

Is there something you cling to during your difficult days or more challenging moments. What is it? How has it helped you? If you're unsure, consider the next time you're faced with a decision you need to make, what do you rely on to help you make it. Maybe, just maybe, that's your BIKE.

Day 3: We're Celebrating National Bike Month!

That's me in the picture above last month on the Arizona Trail. I was in Flagstaff on assignment, pushing myself on a portion of Arizona's longest ride -- more than 800 miles. The trail runs the full length of the state, from the Mexican border to the south all the way up to the northern border at Utah. Maybe some day I'll ride the entire stretch, but on this day I spent about two hours on ten miles of single track. Up and down, over rocks, through narrow, sandy terrain. A fun ride if you're up for the challenge. By bike enthusiast standards, this one's actually a meager challenge. But it works for me. If I could spend more time on trails like this one, I would. I don't need to be too challenged. I know my limits. That's another part of the BIKE mentality -- know your limits.

About this time, I imagine my fellow blogathoners are considering that mentality. With 250 (or more) participants this year (I posted a link to all of us below the participant badge on the right-hand side of the page if you're curious), messages streaming like running water on the email listserv (no, I can't keep up), and the need to post updates to all of the social networks so you can let everyone know you're blogging all 31 days this month -- and with my decision to talk BIKE all month long -- I just learned via a press release that May is National Bike Month. A little serendipity, don't you think? Definitely! It means I have even better reason to push my limits to the max, hammering my brand of BIKE into your heads.

My mental BIKE means a lot to me. It's what gets me over those tough spots on the trail. It's what helps me deal with the daily rejection that editors slip into my email box when I'm not looking. Silly editors. It's what reminds me that I can do this, whatever "this" might be at any given moment: give a presentation to a new audience, for example, or write a story for a new editor, or conduct an interview with a stranger.

For me, riding the bike (either on the trail or in my head, as I reflect on the power of the letters in the metaphor) is a lifestyle choice. Just like National Bike Month is about bringing attention to the benefits of the ride, so, too, does my blog. The only difference is whether you choose the physical ride or the mental one. I choose both.

So how about celebrating National Bike Month with me? Here are a few things you can do:

_Take a ride. If you don't have a bike, you can always rent one.
_Write a blog post about the time you first learned how to ride.
_Share a ride with friend on a tandem bike. You can rent those, too!
_Post a picture of a bike you'd like to own on you blog and tell your readers why.
_Think about the benefits of a bike ride. It's not just physical.
_Talk to your kids about bike safety, and make sure they wear their helmets.
_Find a new trail or a new route to take on your next ride.
_Ride bikes with your kids to school one day this month.
_Can't find the solution to a problem at work, take a solo ride and see what happens.
_Go shopping for a bike. You don't have to buy. Just check out the options.
_Start noticing bike imagery -- on greeting cards, journals, in art.

The thing I love about bikes is that they represent positivity. They take you back to childhood, to carefree times. They give you sense of freedom. They provide inexpensive transportation. Even if you get a flat tire while riding one, that's a positive thing -- it offers a chance for you to witness how you deal with an irritating challenge. I connect to bikes in a way I never expected, and that's worth celebrating.

What's one positive thing you can say about bikes? Post your comment here. 

Blogathon Day 2: Food for thought

It's only Day 2, and I'm just starting to dig in to the 250 or so bloggers involved in this year's WordCount Blogathon, but already I'm seeing variations of the BIKE. To give you other ways to process the philosophy, here's more food for thought. Remember, I told you we'd get to know the other bloggers through BIKE WITH JACKIE. I wasn't kidding.

A short curated list for you: 

To be your Best self, access your Inner strength, and to develop those Killer instincts, you may need to learn when to let go -- What does that look like? Lady Moxie gives you an idea from her yoga class.

You use your Expressive voice not only when you stand up for yourself, but also when you can laugh at the oddities of life's everyday moments -- or the not so everyday rewards. At Still Living the Dream, we learn this because of a winning outfit. Prepare to smile if you read this one.

Holding yourself accountable also works wonders when on the mental BIKE ride. You'll find a great example of this over at Let's Walk and Talk, where blogger Glenneth Reed composes her list of things she's expecting to accomplish in 2012 -- and admits what she hasn't yet begun. She put it out there for all the world to see, and that will help her progress. That's also about being your Best self. You don't have to do everything right. But you do something.

One step at a time, and you'll get wherever you're going. It's about moving forward.

What have you committed to act on today? To help hold you accountable, you can post your comments here.

Blogathon 2012 -- Let the games begin!

Part of the celebration: new license plates!

The WordCount Blogathon 2012 has officially begun. Today marks the first day of 31 days of non-stop blogging with a blogging community you'll get to know during this next month here through BIKE WITH JACKIE. This time around my theme is all about the BIKE. In fact, to celebrate, I ordered new license plates -- vanity plates -- to represent my recommitment to the BIKE philosophy, or should I say my recommitment to write the book (memoir) about it.

As you may know, BIKE is an acronym that stands for what I see as the four key elements of who you are inside, what you're really made of, or, in other words, your core. It's a metaphor that leads you to:

1) find your Best self.
2) access your Inner strength.
3) develop your Killer instincts.
4) use your Expressive voice.

It's action-oriented. That means, it requires you to do something. There's good reason for that, and it's called taking responsibility.

Many of us were brought up without understanding who we really are, so we became what others wanted us to be, or what we thought others expected of us. We never stopped playing follow the leader, and we certainly didn't realize we could lead ourselves. I can what??? Nobody ever told me that.


Well, now you know.


Here, you learn a process that will show you how to identify the true core of your being. This identification as essential in order to live the life that best suits you. You. Not anyone else. To do that, of course you first must know yourself! It's not just me who believes this. "Know thyself" is a borrowed phrase from ancient Greece and before. Even Plato admitted it was a long-standing maxim when he used the phrase.

Okay, so while I'm not a Greek philosopher. What I am is experienced in the knowledge of what happens when you don't know yourself. You commit to relationships that are wrong for you. Been there. You take jobs that you hate. Done that. You say "yes" or "okay, fine," when you really mean "no." Do I have to tell you how many times I've done that? You could very well become a bitter person should this pattern continue. Whew! Shot past that one. When you don't know yourself, you act like someone else or for someone else. You don't feel like the you you really are, because you aren't, and you might not even realize on a conscious level why or that it's even going on. You don't have awareness.

But awareness is key.

I learned this first-hand during my bike rides to get through a three-year divorce. I witnessed the transformation and embraced it. What happened? Turns out that mind-body connection really works. I naturally used time on my mountain bike to assess and ponder what I was going through and how I wanted to respond. Taking in all the information that was coming my way -- advice from a good lawyer, financial consultation, friends' well-meaning jabs at the soon-to-be ex, and sisters on both sides who wanted me to "take him for all he's got" -- I processed. I knew right off that I wanted to respond in such a way that I'd be able to walk away from a marriage gone wrong with my head held high when all was said and done. I accomplished that. I didn't feel the need "take him for all he's got," I let the lawyers -- his and mine -- do their jobs. I just wanted my life back.

But first, I needed to reconnect with the me I knew I'd once been. She got lost somewhere between the "I do" and the "I'm done!" Intent on digging her back out, I wanted her to breathe air again. I believed in her.

And I'm not saying I didn't say or do things I shouldn't have, but I'm saying I made decisions methodically, strategically, thoughtfully, and I don't regret a thing. I could have had more. I might have had less. Whatever the case, I took care of myself. And I was able to do that because I listened and learned, appreciating that only I had the answers to how I would move past the unexpected pain. I had to trust I could take what was given to me and what I sought out for myself and use it wisely. Isn't that what we all really want when we're experiencing a life challenge? To come out of it still intact? To love ourselves when it's over?

Almost from that very first ride, I knew I was drawn to that bike for a reason. After all, it had been sitting in my garage for years. I hadn't ridden it but maybe a dozen times before. Maybe. So I knew there was a purpose to all of this. I just didn't know exactly what until much later. But I knew, and never let that knowledge stray. So I kept journals. Boxes full of them. 

And don't worry. This is not about riding a bike, though that's the tool I was drawn to use. You might be drawn to something else. Maybe running, hiking, sewing, fishing, boating, painting, writing, sketching, anything that is yours and yours alone. See, this is about finding that safe place to consider the challenges you're experiencing and to make sure you're responding in such a way that keeps you moving forward. It's your answer, not mine.

That doesn't mean you won't screw up, make mistakes and maybe even fail. What it does mean is that despite those screw ups, mistakes and failures, you will know how to overcome even those setbacks. They won't flatten your tire for too long. You'll be able to put the brakes on the stuff that threatens your success (even if it's just a mental pause, you know, like a negative thought or two or ten!), move them out of the way, and move on.

You'll be drawn to the things that will save you. You'll seek help where you know you can find it. You'll trust that you are doing what's right for you. And you'll walk away from your experiences feeling a sense of satisfaction and self-approval. You won't rely on others for that. And you will definitely reconnect with the spiritual guide you believe in to help lead the way. I think that, too, will come naturally, as we're all spiritual beings regardless of our awareness or lack thereof. That's what I believe.

If you don't know already, I teach what I call the "BIKE Lessons" in four-part increments, one letter at a time, to women in transition. I also give break-out presentations and keynotes to women's groups, business luncheons, and conference gatherings. My background has left me with a ton of stories to tell about each individual letter. It's why I can connect with my audience. Basically, I teach coping mechanisms, using the BIKE philosophy as the road guide. Just as my travel guide is a map to Arizona, guiding you to state thrills. My BIKE Lessons guide you to joy. Both are all about happy endings, and this is why I'm known as the BIKE LADY. It was a name given to me at a conference several years ago, and I've embraced it since then, mostly for the positive message it represents. Despite the challenges I've faced in life, I've had many things given to me, and that's what I want to give back: a positive return on your personal time investment. I want your time here to matter.

My BIKE is about moving forward. This is Day 1 of the Blogathon. For the next 30 days, we'll celebrate a sort of revival here. Maybe along the way, you'll reconnect with something that you've set aside and are on the verge or the fence about trying again. If so, I hope you'll share your story.

See you tomorrow? I hope so.