Recovery: Affirming yourself

Yesterday, we discussed coping skills. One I left out on purpose, because it deserves its own page, is the act of affirming yourself.

Repeating affirmations to yourself can be a positive aspect of living a life in Recovery. You use them to remind yourself that you're just like Al Franken's "Saturday Night Live" character Stuart Smalley. You're good enough, you're smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like you. Only, in this case, you like you.

If you need to know why, affirmations will tell you. They can be written or spoken, but they must be words with a positive perspective, since they are the words you keep telling yourself. You are affirming beliefs about yourself when you utilize them, and they won't do you any good if they're negative. In fact, affirmations can negate the negative...that is, remove self-doubt.

I have used them all of my life, but I have not always been successful with them. I have still heard myself slip in those, "I'm such a dummy" or "I'm terrible at math" or "I'm never going to learn how to do this" comments. On the surface, these phrases may sound funny, and you may not think you're taking them seriously, but they do leave an impression. And the impression sticks. It's not a good one. In time, your mind starts to believe those negative comments. Your mind starts to believe the lies you are telling yourself.

LIGHTBULB! When you realize your mind can believe the negative comments you say, then you can see how it can also believe the POSITIVE. So, we use affirmations to remove the negative comments (that sneaky self-doubt) and replace them with life enhancing, reassuring affirmations--phrases that lift us up rather than push us down.

Just for practice, find a mirror, stand in front of it it, and say the following:

I am a good person.
I care about myself.
I work to the best of my ability.

These are three basic affirmations that will work for a man or a woman (both genders can benefit). They are simple statements of fact, or they are statements that you want to be fact and are working toward.

Now, create your own. Make a list. Think of 3-5 phrases you've heard yourself say recently or know that you've said often enough that create negative energy inside of you. Turn those statements around into positives. I'm talking about anything related to work, parenting, life at home, anything at all. It could involve a simple mistake that many of us have made at some time or another, for instance, after that time you ran out of gas and called for help, saying something like, "I'm so stupid and didn't fill my tank in time."

That's a lie you tell yourself. Think about it. So what if you run out of gas? So what? Yes, maybe you could have paid better attention. Maybe you could have glanced at the gas gauge before you drove off down the street. Maybe you could have done a number of things to prevent yourself from running out of gas. But it happens. It's not stupid. You're not stupid for doing it. It's just an event that occurred that's inconvenient. The tank can be filled back up. You can call the AAA company or other mobile service/auto club you belong to for help. A stranger behind you might pull over and help. The truth is, it's a mistake that can be corrected easily.

You're not stupid for making mistakes. But if you ever hear yourself say that you are, stop yourself immediately and say out loud something like this: "Thank goodness, I'm smart and joined that auto club. Now I can get the help I need."

Affirmations are empowering statements. They allow us to do good things for ourselves. Whereas, negative statements do not. They keep us where insanity wants us to stay--insane, angry, upset, stressed, maybe even immobile. Affirmations help move us forward.

Once you have your list of affirmations ready, write them down on Post-it notes and stick them in places where you'll see them regularly--on your computer screen, on your bathroom mirror, on the dashboard of your car, on the refrigerator. Stick them in places where you regularly look. And say them out loud when you see them. You want to retrain your brain to think positive thoughts, to see yourself the way you want to be or know you really are. You want to stop lying to yourself.

When you can see the truth of who you really are, your Recovery is working in your favor.

If you skipped the above exercise but know there is an affirmation you need to be saying to yourself out loud right now, what is it? Write it down right here. We'll say it out loud with you. At BIKE WITH JACKIE, as long as we are willing and able, we help each other. We are all in Recovery together.

When one brand equals more than one you

As I go through my branding process, educating myself on what message and image I want to share with the world, I realize my eclectic interests (writing, speaking, mountain biking) can prove to be a challenge.

What's new?

That's what we do here. We talk about life challenges and how to overcome them. Nothing, I realize, is undoable, unshakeable or unfixable. So I'm in the midst of figuring out how to combine all of my career interests (mountain biking as a career only in the way in which it helped create my BIKE philosophy) into one logo, one motto, one identity. And I know it's possible. I'm just not yet sure how to do it effectively.

I'm working and believing in the combo meal. I don't want to be supersized. But I want you to know if you get the writer, you get the speaker--and you get the mountain biker, too. I'm all of those rolled into one person, one personality, one woman.

But sometimes, it makes life confusing. Have you ever felt like this, as if you're being pulled in so many directions, that your skills far outnumber the time you have to use them, to make them worthwhile.

This past year, I must confess, I had to let the speaker part of me go. She had to go sit over there while the writer in me worked on her book over here. I let her out a few times, but now she's got some catching up to do. And the new author needs a rest.

Does that mean it's about balance? I think maybe it is. Each of the three interests I mentioned are interests I continue to enjoy. I don't want to give any of them up. I do want to know how to help them all work together cohesively. So that's what I hope the branding process will create--one person, one image, one logo.

If you're undergoing your own branding process, what challenges are you facing and what are you doing about it?

A mid-blogathon recap

If you missed the first posts to explain what's going on this month at BIKE WITH JACKIE, let me explain. I'm involved in a blogathon with several other bloggers--all writers, most of them I know from a site called Freelance Success. You can link to the entire group of participants just by clicking on any of the blog names on the right, under the heading "May 2009 Blogathon."

This one is my fourth blogathon since I started blogging in 2007. For this event, we've upped the participation a notch, are talking a lot about it on Twitter (You can search #MayBlog2 to find out who's posting what and where.), and we're incorporating a Guest Blogger Day. That takes place May 21. Be sure to come back and support my guest blogger on that day and post comments to get some dialogue going. We love visitors at BIKE WITH JACKIE!

In the mean time, I thought I'd use today's post to recap what's going on here, specifically. First off, I decided to use a theme for the Month: Fresh Start. For that, I've chosen the month of May to share with you what I do to steer my thoughts--and actions--in the direction of what I do to get unstuck and keep the momentum of forward movement going. Even when a ride is not possible on the road. For me, the ride is always possible inside my head. I know it can be the same for you. Here's how (If you've missed these posts, or want a refresher, click on the links to read more.):

1. When you are in healing mode, look for the beautiful things in life to guide you, to set your mind at ease.


2. Let the unconditional love of family fuel you in your endeavors.


3. Use artistic expression to feed your soul, motivate your creative genius, and help you you reach your goals.


4. Stretch yourself by doing what's outside your norm; take the road less traveled.


5. Surround yourself in nature's beauty.


6. Look to the lighter side of life for that sense of relief from what ails you.


7. Food fuels you, of course, but too much of it can weigh you down. Eat light and healthy.


8. Delays in your schedule can appear to be a set back, but not if you take charge of those delays by making the necessary calls and rearranging your mindset.


9. Be mindful and willing to embrace new opportunities, especially if they are your "pipe dreams" that arrive serendipitously.


10. When you get stuck, it helps to help others who are in greater need.


11. Sometimes your mind needs its own "interior" design work. Recharge it with color, texture, sound and scent.


12. Get help when you need it. Find a partner to work with you, share with you, laugh with you, and cry with you, if that's what it takes to keep moving forward.


13. If life gets too tough, loosen up and go find a place to play.


14. When stress blocks your progress, take a time-out.

For the rest of the month, I'll be posting more tips like these. But if you'd like to add to this list, please do. I welcome your comments.