Keeping a diary

Keeping a diary or journaling thoughts has been a common custom handed down for generations. Blogging is an extension of that custom. But there is good reason to do it, if only for yourself.

You may find refuge and solace by writing down your thoughts, feelings, hopes and dreams. You may come to terms with something that's been distracting you. You may answer your own questions. You may just need to vent.

While I was reading Kuki Gallman's I Dreamed of Africa, I discovered she, too, kept journals. She said her diary was a like a pyschoanalyst to her--"a healthy way of gettings things out of my system, pouring them out on the blank, unjudging, tempting pages," she wrote in her book.

I thought of my bike rides in this same way when I was going through my divorce. I cried from the seat of my bike, screamed from the seat of my bike, thought horrible thoughts about my soon-to-be ex from the seat of my bike, and no one judged me. It gave me a sense of freedom that I didn't have when talking to family and friends about my problems. They wanted to help me solve everything. They wanted to hush me if I became too emotional. They just wanted me to feel better.

But I didn't. I felt like crap. And I wasn't going to stop feeling that way just because someone else was uncomfortable. We all need our time to mourn, no matter what we're mourning. We all need to give ourselves the gift of time. Better yet, give yourself the gift of a place to feel your real feeings, as tough as they may be to face. Let a bike do that for you. Let a jog in the park do that for you. Let an afternoon swim be your refuge. Or write down your thoughts in a journal.

No matter what is aching you, no matter what the challenge is that you must face today, you can move past it. You might not be able to change it to your liking, but you will move past it. Just allow yourself to feel the feelings, respect them for what they are--temporary--and "ride" right through them.

Let it be as difficult as it must be, but don't stay there longer than you need to. Focus on one step at a time. Your goal is not to continue hurting. Your goal is to grow from the pain and become a better person for it.

Writing your pain on the page can be a tremendous source of strength for you during times of turmoil. Find that strength, trust in it, and use it to your advantage.

All my best,
Jackie