Recovery: Dealing with change

Because Sunday is the day of rest, it's a good day to spend time meditating on the changes going on in your life. If you haven't ridden a bike in a while, it might be a good day to hop on. The ride will give you the time alone your mind needs to process information. If no bike is available, a walk or a jog or yoga poses will do. While "there," think about the changes you are making, how you're adapting to them, and consider any resistance you may be feeling. This week, we'll discuss a few tools you can use to manifest the change you are seeking and how you can be sure you're headed in the right direction. Is that resistance trying to tell you something?

Recovery: Celebrating you

I truly believe we are all in Recovery. Every one of us.

Think about it. We've all suffered setbacks. We've all had to deal with trying times. We're all faced with challenges--almost all the time. Most of us would be out of work if this weren't true. Innovation comes from a challenge. New therapies stem from personal dilemmas. Researchers everyday spend time in labs to find the answer to a pressing need. We're all in Recovery. Or maybe that's the way we should be operating, because it implies that you're taking responsibility.

I tell my life stories here at BIKE WITH JACKIE, and they're not always pretty. I do it to let you know that it's okay to be real and raw. I've learned from my own relationships with people who hid who they really were that you can't be intimate with them. You can't trust them. You can't rely on them. And you can't be real with them in return. That's a much larger loss than the eventual breakdown of the relationship itself.

So my mission in life is to help other people get real with their life challenges, to admit them, and then to deal with them, simply because they stop us from moving forward. To accomplish my mission, I teach, sometimes indirectly, how my spiritual navigation tool (the mental BIKE) can be applied to your life. This is briefly explained at the top of this page.

But, basically, I spend time here sharing the lessons I learned from the seat of my bike, lessons that are never-ending. I continue learning new ones, as we all do if we're paying attention, because Recovery IS on-going. It's what we do while we're living life. It's only when we stop living that Recovery ends.

You see, for me, my special brand of BIKE represents rebirth, growth and most especially moving forward.

To do that, I've learned one most important lesson: You must celebrate your successes. Your successes, no matter what they mean to anyone else, are your big deals. They deserve the attention they've earned. And that what's today's post is about: celebrating you, celebrating your successes.

With that, I'd like to announce my most current one:

I just found out my book (pictured above with a goofy grinning me beside it at Barnes & Noble, Kierland Commons, taken by my friend Rebecca A. Allen) is doing so well that I've earned half of my advance already--in just three months!

That's a pretty good track record, folks--one that had my publisher sending me a Royalty Statement a year before I was expecting one. When I opened that letter yesterday, I was pretty darn happy. I know I've been working hard to sell the book, to pitch the book, to get the word out, but I had no idea I was doing that well--not until my publisher told me. So I celebrated. I shared the information with a neighbor, and she popped open a bottle of wine, and we toasted. Then my boyfriend took me out to dinner. And now I'm celebrating here, by sharing the message with you.

Here's why it's so important: Ten years ago, I certainly didn't think I could ever write a book. It would have been too overwhelming a task for me. I know. I tried. I was assigned to do a chapter of a travel guide for a publishing company, and I had to turn the project back in. I had to give up on the job. For personal reasons that were going on in my life that I didn't even know existed, I just couldn't do it.

Clearly, that wasn't the greatest moment in my life. But when I was able to put that behind me and forgive myself that part of my life, the world and all its possibilities opened up again. I began looking for them, seeing them and embracing them. So the travel guide pictured above became yet another symbol. It, too, relates to my BIKE message, which empowers you think differently about yourself. For one thing, you'll be able to recognize when your "tough hill" is ahead, and you'll know you can climb it anyway, because:

You can make mistakes and overcome them.

You can be a better person than you thought you were.

You can do much more than you ever thought you could.

You can choose to associate with people who will help make your dreams come true.

You can change your mind and create new dreams.

You can grow yourself physically, no matter how out of shape you think you are.

You can grow yourself mentally, no matter how doomed you feel.

You can celebrate your successes, because you've earned them.

And your success deserves your respect. It's great when other people celebrate with you, but that's not the important thing. The important thing is that you celebrate you.

So, let me ask you? When was the last time you gave yourself this gift? Write it down here so we can watch you shine.

Question of the Day!

Feeling a little angst? Having difficulty moving forward? If you want to get unstuck and release unnecessary stress, it might be time to call your advocates?

Which brings me to the question of the day:

Do you know who your advocates are?

According to author and motivational speaker--who may be a new client of mine--Ed Robinson, your advocates are the gatekeepers to your success. They are the people who can help open doors for you and make things happen. But you have to be willing to ask them for help. Are you willing?

If you don't know who your advocates are, or are unsure, it's time to make a list of all the people you know who have some kind of connection that you need in order to move your business or your life forward.

Once you know who your advocates are, you can then decide how they might be able to help you. You can begin to find new advocates the next time you are at a networking event. If you make a connection with someone at this event, after you get the person's business card, be sure to schedule a meeting. Spend some time getting to know this person one-on-one. Focus on listening to what this person has to say. Maybe there's something you can offer this person first. Maybe this person will become your advocate.

To move away from what might sometimes seem like a scary place in the corner where you're all by yourself, feeling alone and unsure, you have to be willing to ask for help. That's using the E element of your mental BIKE, that Expressive voice--the part of you that knows (because of your Killer instinct) where to locate the help you need. You are naturally drawn to the people you need to meet, the places you need to be, the things you need to do. Your advocates are waiting for you.

And, if Robinson is right, they will listen.

So who's on your list?

(Above photo taken by Jackie Dishner at the Asylum restaurant in Jerome, Ariz., 2009.)

Ted Turner wisdom

I wouldn't say I'm a fan of Ted Turner, but I dated a guy in college who admired him greatly. That admiration had a lot to do with the fact that they both had ties to Atlanta. I wound up marrying this college sweetheart of mine (He later died.), and I've always noticed anything said or written about Ted Turner since. It's not anything I purposefully look for, but when he appears on TV or on a magazine cover, I can't help but notice. Perhaps it's simply because the guy reminds me of my late husband; they share the same hairline and color , color of eyes, and that dimple on the chin...

This morning, Ted Turner appeared on NBC's "Meet the Press"--I WAS a big fan of Tim Russert's!--and I watched. Discussing with Tom Brokaw a former rift with Rupert Murdock, Turner said about their reconciliation: "It hurts you when you don't like someone; it doesn't really hurt them."

It hurts you when you don't like someone; it doesn't really hurt them.

That's a line worth repeating. It made me stop and think. There are people in my life who I haven't really liked, and I've experienced my fair share of rifts. Turner's insightful words made me immediately think, Who cares? Who really cares? They don't.

So what's the point? He's basically saying, "Let it go."

Let it go.

Three more words worth repeating, again and again.

Can you think of a rift in your life that needs to be discarded? If you're being your Best self, you'll find a way to admit there probably is such a rift, and you'll figure out how you can let it go. Not for them, but for you. It means you recognize where you can make improvements in your life, and that you will take the steps to do that. It may take time--and the letting go part doesn't have to involve that other person directly--but you know you have the power of choice. You'll rely on your Inner strength to remove the shame or doubt that surfaces. You'll trust your Killer instincts to take the necessary action. And you'll use your Expressive voice to say what might need to be said or to simply reach out in whatever way will move you forward.

Here at BIKE WITH JACKIE, it's always about forward movement. That's our goal with this mental bike ride. Whatever's holding you back, whether or not it's a rift, together we look for ways to get beyond the struggles, which can come at us so unexpectedly. We know we're not in this alone. Thankfully, if we're open to improvement, we'll gain the insights or epiphanies needed--even if they come from a TV personality.