Favorite books for personal growth

This list represents books I've read once or twice, sometimes more. They helped me tremendously during my early mental--and physical--rides. They still do. And it's a lengthy list. Of course, it took me several years to read them and do the work that some require. But these are my favorites. I've read many, many more. But these, for me, touch on the important points of emotional, physical, spiritual, and even sexual growth. We're aiming for balance in all four areas of life.

Pick and choose what works for you. Create your own list. Add to this one. Substract from it. Let your Killer instincts--your most honest and tuned-in gut reaction--lead the way. But if you don't know where to start, here are several good bets:

A Gentle Path through the Twelve Steps (for all people in the process of recovery) by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.

A Year by the Sea by Joan Anderson

Believe in the God Who Believes in You by Robert H. Schuller

Boundaries and Relationships by Charles L. Whitfield, M.D.

Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life by Gregg Levoy

Choices by Shad Helmstetter

Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and it's all small stuff by Richard Carlson, Ph.D.

Feel the Fear And Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.

Life Application Study Bible: New Living Translation

Man's Search for Meaning by Victor E. Frankl

The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

The Power of Focus for Women by Fran Hewitt & Les Hewitt

The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

Growing, growing, grown?

During our childhood, our growth is apparent almost on a daily basis. Our parents or our caregivers make note of our weight gains, whether a new tooth is forming, and they may even mark our height in notches on a wall for all to see. Snapshots and videos also record amazing feats that we've achieved as a toddler. If you happen to be the first-born, that first step you took may have been welcomed by a family celebration, beginning your first family tradition. Most everyone I know had their very first birthday caputured on some kind of film, to be shared over and over again.

This early growth just seems to feel so good.

As we get older and grow into adulthood, however, we seem to forget how good growth really does feel -- beginning with those hormonal and frequently chaotic adolescent years. We put away the party favors, the cake and ice cream, and maybe even skip the presents. Our growth becomes less visible, less celebrated, less important. Often, we don't even pay attention to it. Some even prefer to ignore it. We don't want to get "old."

Today, I've returned from a weekend assignment that really forced me to notice areas that could use improvement in my own life. It reminded me -- and yes, we need those reminders -- that the growth continues; it's never-ending. So I challenge you today to consider areas of improvement that you could make in your own life. Focus only on you, not on your loved ones, nor your friends. It's easy to point out the flaws and mistakes made by others. It's much more difficult to look inside our own imperfections. Doing so, however, will wake those senses. It will arouse your curiosity, and it will remind you that growth is always a good thing -- even when it hurts. And there will be times that it will. Those are good times, too. They need not be fearful times. Often, they are the moments we really should be celebrating the most!

For your ride today, think about where you are in your life. As you paint or draw that still life, as you pedal past thorny bushes and up over the bridge ahead, as you take this time to yourself, think about the choices you've made in your life. When have you been the happiest? When have you felt nothing but pure joy, the kind that keeps you giggling for hours or laughing from deep down inside? Think about that, then write down your thoughts. Remind yourself of the last time you felt child-like, as if you were that little girl or boy playing on the monkey bars once again. Even if you recall the falls, think about how you got back up.

Being able to bounce back from your falls is key to continued growth.

In your "ride" today (The quote marks mean your ride is your choice, not mine. If it's a bike, that's great. But if it's something else for you, if you require something less physical -- or more physical -- that will work just as well.)...so for your "ride" today, think about your own growth.

It's not over.

Let this one be a smooth ride. No bumps today. As my therapist would often say to me during some really rough moments, "Be gentle with yourself."

I heard those same words again from a yoga instructor this past weekend. So, Johanna Mosca from Sedona Spirit, if you're reading this, thank you for a lesson I can share with my readers. Yours are celebratory words, belonging to us all.

Let's celebrate growth today.

All my best,
Jackie

Practice patience

I've had e-mails come in asking me this already, so you, too, may be having similar thoughts. You may be wondering by now if I'm ever going to tell you what BIKE means and how you can incorporate it into your life.

My response: Be patient.

I found this spiritual navigation guide after a very long journey. And, I believe, in order for it to be effective in your life as well, you'll need to follow a similar course. In order to fully appreciate it -- and then to embrace it -- you'll need to see the growth occur for yourself. People talk about "a-ha moments," the ones where you reach enlightenment about a certain question you might have. This will be one of them for you. If you open your eyes -- not only to see but to accept -- you'll experience complete awareness.

But that takes time, and you must take the journey first.

Here's an exercise for you:

Think about the last time you made a mistake, whether at work, at home, or with friends. Maybe you said something you wish you hadn't. Maybe you agreed to do a job you weren't qualified to do, or didn't want to do, and the task suffered because of your decision. Maybe you missed an appointment. Make a note of how you felt after the fact. And then make a note of how you responded to that feeling or to the people who may have been affected. This exercise isn't about judgment; it's about awareness.

You may want to keep a journal to record your thoughts. The journal will be a valuable resource as you make your transformation.

All my best,
Jackie

I know BIKE works because...

...it's measurable.

We've all participated in some project or activity that required continuous performance in order to see or arrive at a result. No matter what you set out to accomplish in a day -- the dishes, laundry, a math problem -- you begin the task, and when you've completed it, you've accomplished something. The results are measurable.

That's what happened to me when I began riding my Huffy. Trust me, for those of you who might still be saying, "Yeah, right. This sucks. It really IS all about exercise." Well, as I mentioned earlier, yes, it was for me, initially. Because that's all I had to count on at the time. It offered me a safe and measurable way to see growth.

At the time, I was forty plus pounds overweight. I felt it, but I wasn't seeing it. More accurately, I was problaby ignoring it. But the reality is, I had gained those forty pounds in one year. I found myself stepping on a scale one day, reading the number out loud, "160 pounds!" I couldn't ignore it any longer. I knew something was wrong. For me, that was not a healthy weight. I was a size 6 who had inched her way up to a size 12 in one year! Folks, that is a major signal that something is not quite right. And I knew it. I just didn't know what "it" was.

I'd soon find out...and I'll get to that later...but for now, you can simply know that my Huffy provided me the pathway to a visible success that I also experienced internally.

I remember feeling the physical effects, and it, too -- just like the Ron Carlson quote -- has stayed with me. When a moment touches your heart, mind and soul, accept its significance and positive change will follow.

I remember riding along my usual bike path. I'd reach my turnaround point, pulling into a park area to add some laps to my ride, and maybe ride under the sprinklers if the weather was really warm. In those early morning hours, I'd pass by the women walkers who also frequented the park. I couldn't seem to help myself, but with a smile on my face, I'd literally wave hello and call out to them, "You should try riding. You won't believe how much weight I've lost." I wanted to share the joy that comes with progress. I wanted others to experience what I was experiencing, despite the turmoil I was dealing with back home. It felt significant to me, and perhaps I looked foolish, grinning as I know I was, but I knew I was onto something.

The truth was getting clearer and clearer with each ride.