Day 3: Chasing laughter

I was thinking about what makes me laugh when I woke up this morning, and that's what appeared on my journal pages today. I know I'm supposed to be writing about what's bugging me and the accompanying feelings associated with what's bugging me for this 30-day exercise, but at the moment I sat down to write, I wasn't feeling bugged. I was thinking about laughter.

Chasing laughter. It's what I do. It's how I connect with other people more often than not. It's how I learned to deal with difficult moments.

The picture above is a great example of that, and of someone understanding this need of mine. The BF above and I were having breakfast. He was late. I was stressed about waiting. He hadn't warned me that he'd be later than usual, and I could have made other plans. So I was kind of upset when he called. We agreed to meet at a cafe somewhere in the middle of our separate destinations to save time. I wasn't 100 percent happy about it. It doesn't matter why. It's just what it was.

So we arrive at around the same time, get a table and order. As we're sitting there eating our breakfast meal, which, by this time, had turned into lunch, he did something that surprised me. He stuck his orange slice in his mouth and smiled. He sat there staring at me, waiting for me to notice. When I finally did, I couldn't help but laugh at his spontaneity.This is not a guy who would generally do this. He can surprise you. And this time, his out-of-character silliness broke an awkward silence and reminded me what a good guy he is, despite his sometime tardiness and inconvenient scheduling that does seem to revolve around his life more often than mine (I confess total bias here. I'm allowed. It's my story.).

In my desire to elongate the moment, I told him not to move so I could take a picture. Then I told him to do it again so I could be sure I got a good picture. Good guy that he is, he complied with my requests, and I got this photo above. I've been thinking about how to use this photo for a few weeks now, and here it is. I get to share it with you. I get to share the laughter. Like I said, it's how I like to connect with people. Laughter, as you know, is good medicine for what ails you. So I may have been bugged at the moment when this silliness occurred. But I'm not bugged now. And I'm glad to have the photo to prove it.

Can you recall a recent moment of unexpected silliness that occurred in your life? What happened? Did it break an awkward silence? Did you laugh out loud? Tell us about it here.

MORE DISCIPLINE: Speaking of "if I so choose," I dream of being more disciplined at certain things I do in life. I can choose that...

That's what I wrote in yesterday's post. I dream of having more discipline.

So, today, I embark on a new goal to achieve what showed up as #8 on my list of the 10 things I dream about regularly. I'm joining Quinn McDonald in her 30-Day adventure to practice creativity. A group of bloggers and others who read Quinn's blog plan to spend the next 30 days taking part in daily walks (I'm riding) followed by daily journal writing (on our own) to unleash the emotions that could be blocking creativity. 

She says both of those practices help nurture spirituality, work on karma debts, and hatch the beginning of creative ideas. Along the way, you get to "explore the rough ledges of forgiveness and healing."

Walking provides for her the time to meditate and focus on positive messaging. I prefer this movement come from my bike rides, so I'll be doing that instead, if the weather allows.

The "deep writing" she next prescribes must be done in long-hand (pick a journal specific for the process) for 15 minutes every day at the same time of day. I prefer morning. Get comfortable, she says, and start writing what's worrying you, bothering you, upsetting you, causing you discomfort or stress. Include both the facts and the feelings attached. Connect with all the senses. What does your stress or angst look like, smell like, feel like? Does it have a taste? According to the research she's Quinn has read, this process helps connect the right brain with the left brain and may lead to solutions for the challenges written on the page.

It sounds like an important process for me to take part in at the moment, so that's what my posts will focus on for the next 30 days. Join in if you like. And watch for my first post to appear here later in the day.

More survivors of abuse speak out

What is it about this Penn State sex abuse case that has touched a nerve with so many survivors? It's not the first such case ever to be reported. It's not the largest? Whatever it is, we are telling our stories. This case has opened a door to allow some kind of relief to be expressed, the tears to flow, and the truth to be revealed. These stories continue to show the world that childhood abuse is far more rampant and far more hidden than anyone wants to believe.

Here are more survivor stories. If you would, please pass them on:

_Goldie Taylor, an Atlanta-based writer, finds the courage to tell her story for CNN.

_In his own memoir, Transparent, Don Lemon, a weekend CNN anchor, tells of his own childhood rape, and for CNN, questions why the young boy in the Penn State locker room wasn't saved at that very moment the witness saw the rape occur. Would the witness have saved the child if he had been a girl? Lemon reminds us that gender doesn't matter. Rape is rape, and we need to open our eyes.

_Robin Quivers from "The Howard Stern Show" tells of her abuse story. The victimizer was her father. Not atypical, in case you were wondering...

_A champion gymnast, Jennifer Sey, retells the story about how her coach got away with sexual abuse (not aimed at her) and why winning trumps everything else when it comes to sports.

_QuinnCreative responds to my Ms. Magazine story with a story of her own. Hers was one of the first stories I read after mine was posted that reminded me words have a healing power we won't even know about until they are read or heard. Let the healing begin!

_Kelly Salasin, who found her way to my story also, was inspired to share something that happened to her one summer--after reading the next story linked below. What do you think, moms? Share this one with your high school daughters?

_Eve Ensler spews her anger over the mere idea of rape. She says she over it. But can we be? Really? Read her essay to see what she really means.