I'm feeling resistant about this work right now. I don't want to write in my journal. I don't want to think about the things that might be bugging me (Are there really that many???). I'm reluctant to go for a walk. I'd rather do anything than this.
You'd think that would happen in the earlier days, as Julia Cameron tells you to expect in The Artist's Way. But here I am, nearing the end of this exercise, and all I can write in the journal is one word?
To work through this resistance, I am doing the following:
_letting myself engage in the avoidance.
_listening to what my mind is saying.
_paying attention to what resistance feels like.
I have decided it's okay if I don't write in the journal every day. It's okay if I wait till late afternoon to jot down my thoughts--even if they are single-word entries. It's okay if I miss the walk or ride the bike instead. Or even do squats. It's okay if I feel this resistance. It's still telling me something. I'm still listening. I'm still paying attention to the tightness I feel in my jaw or the nervous energy that's settling in my stomach. Resistance is telling me something. And I'm paying attention.
I expect the solution will show up on the page later.
Just not today.
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4 comments:
I love reading your posts- they really have been eye openers for me.
Anjuli, thank you for coming back again and again. :-)
As the MOTV8HER(coach, speaker and trainer), the new year is a time when I am working on goals for myself and others. However, like some pouting child I have refused to play the game this year. Resistance is truly the word. I too am engaging in avoidance and allowing my mind/body to do as it pleases. Not even answering the phone. Have no idea where this will take me, but, after 3 yrs of taking orders from others to beat breast cancer I'm determined to 'do me' in 2012. Blessings!
Sabrina, hopefully, this is about taking charge.
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