Thursday, January 5, 2012
I'm feeling resistant about this work right now. I don't want to write in my journal. I don't want to think about the things that might be bugging me (Are there really that many???). I'm reluctant to go for a walk. I'd rather do anything than this.
You'd think that would happen in the earlier days, as Julia Cameron tells you to expect in The Artist's Way. But here I am, nearing the end of this exercise, and all I can write in the journal is one word?
To work through this resistance, I am doing the following:
_letting myself engage in the avoidance.
_listening to what my mind is saying.
_paying attention to what resistance feels like.
I have decided it's okay if I don't write in the journal every day. It's okay if I wait till late afternoon to jot down my thoughts--even if they are single-word entries. It's okay if I miss the walk or ride the bike instead. Or even do squats. It's okay if I feel this resistance. It's still telling me something. I'm still listening. I'm still paying attention to the tightness I feel in my jaw or the nervous energy that's settling in my stomach. Resistance is telling me something. And I'm paying attention.
I expect the solution will show up on the page later.
Just not today.