This blog introduces you to my special brand of BIKE. I show you how to find your Best self, access your Inner strength, tune in to your Killer instincts, and use your Expressive voice. It's inspiring, spiritual, quirky, and it's all in your head. It's about ATTITUDE, not exercise, though that might be a side benefit.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Day 30: Reaching the finish line

Sunrise at Monument Valley

Made it! I reached Day 30 of this transformational exercise.

For 30 days, joining a small group of other writers, authors, artists and other creative types gathering at, I engaged in meditative walks (sometimes it was a bike ride, sometimes it was yoga, sometimes it was just getting lost in the quiet space of home) and journal writing. I then blogged about the process here, but not blog daily, which was the original agreement. You can clearly see the days I missed by checking the right-hand side of this page. I also felt resistance on more than one day and avoided writing in the journal at all--highly unusual for me, as I live by the journal. To me, that meant there would revelations to uncover and things to figure out. I wasn't afraid of that, but it seems I did have some resistance, maybe even some anger (at myself). But I made it to the finish line, and I am pleased.

Three Things I Learned From This Exercise: 

I learned to forgive myself, to be kind to myself, to let things go. Normally, in an exercise like this I want to do it all, and I want to do it all perfectly. I learned to be okay with imperfection or the idea that I might not do everything as expected. I can be okay with what is good enough. This is a good lesson for someone who comes back in to edit out that extra line or space or the misplaced comma in a blog post. I am learning to let those things be what they are. Would you really notice an extra space in a sentence? Would you care? Studies show people generally read right over such mistakes in copy, so that's something to remember if you catch yourself editing that minor error in your next post. Let it go.

I have issues. Who doesn't, right? Seriously. OMG! I have issues. BUT, I'm more than willing to work on them. At least when I'm not resisting. I am willing to face truths that I'd prefer to ignore. I am willing to accept my failures and take away something from these experiences that will help me do something different or better the next time--if there's a next time. I am willing to accept there might not be, that I may suffer consequences. I have issues, yes, but I am not afraid to face them so I can detach and grow. I am enough. Remember that post?

Some people I know think I am no good with change. But, thankfully, I know myself better. I'm very adaptable, fairly flexible, and I can go with the flow. That doesn't mean I like or want to embrace change that hurts or somehow makes me feel uncomfortable. But I can accept the inevitable (in time, if that's what it takes) and figure out ways to deal with it. This exercise just reinforced what I know about myself, and that's a good thing for someone who's been playing in the sandbox of uncertainty. Change can bring you back to who you really are inside, and I am definitely open to that.


Anjuli said...

Hip Hip Hooray- you made it to the finish line- what a wonderful journey this was. I learned so much as you shared the things you learned. As I'm reading your summing up of all you learned- I'm nodding my head.

Jackie Dishner said...

It's been a crazy journey. I had no idea I had so much angst going on until I started writing about what bugged me in my journal. That was the point. We were supposed to focus on what bugs us. Ugh! I had no idea! But I got it out, and that is good. I'm not yet sure if I'm a huge fan of this particular exercise, and, yet, it did lead to a transformation. I even wrote out a very complete introduction to my next book project, one that I expect to work on this year. So the creativity aspect of the project worked. But it was painful to go through. Thus, my resistance. Thus, the learning. I think, for a while, I'll be focusing on more positive things, though. I need that more. And, you know, maybe that's why I was drawn to this. Just maybe...

Bo Mackison said...

I play in that sandbox too. Maybe I've seen you there... :-) It was a good 30 day experience, and I too let the missed days go without recrimination about not doing it all. I enjoyed reading about your 30 day journey too.

I'm looking forward to getting to Tucson in a couple of days. I miss Arizona when I'm snowed in in the Midwest! Actually, I miss Arizona most of the time, snow or not.

Jackie Dishner said...

Bo, so glad you get to spend time in Arizona. You'll be here in time to celebrate the Centennial, it sounds like.

I believe we're headed for a much better year ahead, don't you?