Missed opportunity

BIKE is about awareness, and this is a story about why it's important to pay attention -- even when you're eavesdropping...

I've mentioned my trip to Sedona a few times already, and I'm still feeling the effects of that trip. I've been thinking, for example, about a specific moment. I was with my boyfriend on this trip, and as we headed out of town to come back home, we stopped off at a creekside restaurant for dinner. We sat out on the patio which overlooks Oak Creek. It was a quiet day, a slight breeze in the air, very relaxing. After the meal, I went to the restroom. On my way back to meet up with my boyfriend by the stairs and head for home, I overheard the conversation going on at one of the tables. It seemed to be a husband, wife, their teenage son, and perhaps a family friend at this table. They were chatting, having a good time.

They were speaking loud enough that it wasn't difficult to hear what was said. When one of the men made a comment about how angry his ex-wife was as I walked by their table, I couldn't help but smirk just a little bit. Though I can't recall his words exactly, they were enough to cause me to make a face while I eavesdropped. The man caught me but didn't take offense. Rather, he invited my boyfriend and I over to their table to join in on the conversation. "We're discussing personal growth issues," he said, "It looks like you might have something to add."

But knowing we wanted to get home, I declined with this reply: "I wouldn't want to bore the poor kid."

"Oh no, you wouldn't. He's been sharing his own knowledge. Listen," and then the guy cojoled the young man into revealing what he knew.

The boy shared the usual stuff..."Don't take drugs. Finish school. Go to college."

It's all good advice we want our kids to adhere to, but it's rote commentary. There's no depth to it, I thought.

Still, I didn't offer my own words of wisdom, nor did my boyfriend. We just left the party behind.

It wasn't until I'd reached the parking lot when I realized I did have some good advice I could have shared, but I didn't take the opportunity when it was given to me.

If I had, I would have shared my BIKE philosophy. "Find your BIKE," I'd have told him. "If you want to live a good life, making decisions that move you forward into a positive and productive future, find your BIKE -- It's mental, not metal."

In the next few weeks, I'll share with you what that means.

All my best,
~Jackie

"You've Got a Friend"

That's the name of the song that I was referring to..."You've Got a Friend." Can you hear the words in your head? As a child, I think it was Dionne Warwick I heard sing that song on the radio. I remember singing it at my eighth grade graduation. It marked a new beginning.

Music has a way of lifting us up in our darkest hour, doesn't it? It also can turn the tears on, if the right song appears at just the right moment. We connect with the sounds, the words, the harmony. There are certain songs that I bet you'll never forget, songs that evoke very specific memories. Music as a healing mechanism works very well for this reason. It helps you connect thoughts to feelings so that you can release energy that needs to be let go.

During your rides, I imagine you might have tapped into some music from your past. A song may sit in the subconscious, just waiting to be released at the perfect moment, to provide the needed comfort.

Our bodies really do know what we need to nurture it. The key is to tune in and be willing to listen.

Let that be the thought that carries you into your weekend.

We'll talk more next week.
~Jackie

Pause for effect...or...affect

Back from my Sedona weekend for several days now, my mind is filled with thoughts about growth, lessons learned, and what they really mean. If you've ever been on a merry-go-round and all you could think of during the ride was, "When is it going to stop?" I'm kind of feeling that way now.

I want to slow down a bit. I want to make sure I'm taking time for thoughtful decision-making. I wasn't always this way.

Before I found BIKE, not all of my choices were chosen thoughtfully enough. I made far too many mistakes, reacting, instead of acting proactively. Still, even my mistakes have paid off, so I'm not judging myself. But it's important to note that my mental BIKE taught me to recognize when to slow down. This lesson might have had something to do with the fact that I came close to getting hit by a car several times. Survival instincts had a lot to do with the learning. I'm sure you can see the metaphor in that. But no matter the reason, I can now recognize when there's need for pause. I'm not always as successful as I'd like to be, but I'm getting there. It's part of the journey.

That's the beauty of having your own mental BIKE; it won't go away. The lessons you learn during your miraculous rides will stay with you for as long as you let them.

It makes me think of the song that includes these words, "Won't you let them?" If you can name that song for me, will you post a comment?

Thanks for joining me today.

All my best,
~Jackie

Growing, growing, grown?

During our childhood, our growth is apparent almost on a daily basis. Our parents or our caregivers make note of our weight gains, whether a new tooth is forming, and they may even mark our height in notches on a wall for all to see. Snapshots and videos also record amazing feats that we've achieved as a toddler. If you happen to be the first-born, that first step you took may have been welcomed by a family celebration, beginning your first family tradition. Most everyone I know had their very first birthday caputured on some kind of film, to be shared over and over again.

This early growth just seems to feel so good.

As we get older and grow into adulthood, however, we seem to forget how good growth really does feel -- beginning with those hormonal and frequently chaotic adolescent years. We put away the party favors, the cake and ice cream, and maybe even skip the presents. Our growth becomes less visible, less celebrated, less important. Often, we don't even pay attention to it. Some even prefer to ignore it. We don't want to get "old."

Today, I've returned from a weekend assignment that really forced me to notice areas that could use improvement in my own life. It reminded me -- and yes, we need those reminders -- that the growth continues; it's never-ending. So I challenge you today to consider areas of improvement that you could make in your own life. Focus only on you, not on your loved ones, nor your friends. It's easy to point out the flaws and mistakes made by others. It's much more difficult to look inside our own imperfections. Doing so, however, will wake those senses. It will arouse your curiosity, and it will remind you that growth is always a good thing -- even when it hurts. And there will be times that it will. Those are good times, too. They need not be fearful times. Often, they are the moments we really should be celebrating the most!

For your ride today, think about where you are in your life. As you paint or draw that still life, as you pedal past thorny bushes and up over the bridge ahead, as you take this time to yourself, think about the choices you've made in your life. When have you been the happiest? When have you felt nothing but pure joy, the kind that keeps you giggling for hours or laughing from deep down inside? Think about that, then write down your thoughts. Remind yourself of the last time you felt child-like, as if you were that little girl or boy playing on the monkey bars once again. Even if you recall the falls, think about how you got back up.

Being able to bounce back from your falls is key to continued growth.

In your "ride" today (The quote marks mean your ride is your choice, not mine. If it's a bike, that's great. But if it's something else for you, if you require something less physical -- or more physical -- that will work just as well.)...so for your "ride" today, think about your own growth.

It's not over.

Let this one be a smooth ride. No bumps today. As my therapist would often say to me during some really rough moments, "Be gentle with yourself."

I heard those same words again from a yoga instructor this past weekend. So, Johanna Mosca from Sedona Spirit, if you're reading this, thank you for a lesson I can share with my readers. Yours are celebratory words, belonging to us all.

Let's celebrate growth today.

All my best,
Jackie

To clarify...

..."When I rode..."

I still ride, of course, but I mix it up now. I ride. I hike. I jog -- very slowly. I walk, mostly doing something I call "curb walking," and I'll explain that later as well. And I journal regularly, pretty much every day. Sometimes, I even engage in yoga-like activity. I don't knit or crochet -- that's my sister's deal -- and I sometimes engage in other artistic endeavors. But those things don't draw me, personally. They just fill time when desired. For you, however, something along the creative lines -- even painting -- might be exactly what you're drawn to. If so, it'll be the perfect activity for you, because it'll be a natural fit -- something you'll most likely stick to on a daily basis...or close enough. Oh, and guys, your thing might be the tinkering you do in the garage. That may be the perfect place where you'll find your BIKE.

But just in case you were wondering..."Is she still riding?" Yes, I am. I believe the continuous repetitive action must go on in order for BIKE to be most effective as your journey continues. Remember, your journey is simply your life. How do you want to live it?

Think about that in your daily "rides."

I'll be back Monday to see where you are.

All my best,
Jackie