This blog introduces you to my special brand of BIKE. I show you how to find your Best self, access your Inner strength, tune in to your Killer instincts, and use your Expressive voice. It's inspiring, spiritual, quirky, and it's all in your head. It's about ATTITUDE, not exercise, though that might be a side benefit.
Showing posts with label confidence-builder. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confidence-builder. Show all posts

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Reasons to ride a bicycle: Reason #1

It's true I rode a bicycle to move past a long and lonely three-year divorce. In so many ways, it was a tough ride. On some days, it was pure escape. But on the seat of that bike, I learned a lot of lessons.

Breaking those down, this week I'll post four reasons why you might want to start riding yourself. You can benefit your life in many ways by riding a real "metal" bike of your own. If you're open to it, it will lead you to the "mental" one.

Here's Reason #1--It's both a physical and mental challenge

If it's been a while since you've ridden, or if you haven't ridden a bike since you were a child, especially if you're out of shape, just considering riding a bike can be a frightening move to make.

No matter if you choose a mountain bike, a road bike, or a hybrid of some sort, once you accept the challenge, you'll gain a new respect for yourself. That's because it will take discipline and focus to ride daily. It will take time out of your schedule. You may have to juggle a few things around to fit your rides into the day.

When I first pulled my old bike out of the garage, I consciously committed myself to daily rides. They took me places where I never thought I could go. That's the benefit of a challenge; it tests what you can handle.

I started out with very short rides but soon worked my way up to very long ones. I went from being able to ride just one mile to as many as 20. I also wasn't very strong physically in the beginning--and I was overweight. I wasn't sure I could push myself up over those hills ahead. When I saw them at first, I wanted to turn back. I didn't want to confront what I saw then as a difficulty. But I paced myself. And soon, I was riding right past those hills, just waiting for the next one, ready to stand up and push harder if need be.

I didn't feel very good about myself in the beginning, either. My husband had just left me for another woman. I wasn't sure I was good enough, pretty enough, smart enough. I was at my lowest low. But the bike helped me turn that attitude around. I lost weight. I gained physical strength. And I felt better about who I really was on the inside.

It was symbolic to what I was going through in my divorce. The truths, the confrontations, the legal paperwork. It was all very daunting, and I didn't want to face any of it. Just as I had on my bike, I had to figure out a way to pace myself.

I had to learn what tools I'd need to keep moving forward. On the bike, I needed a pump to keep going, and a few other tools as well. For the divorce, I needed a lawyer, and a financial advisor. I also had to learn how to keep myself operating at my best. Just as my bike required tune-ups and regular maintenance, I needed to see my therapist once a week to keep going.

The parallels helped me see a strength in my character that I had forgotten I had. That's what taking on a new challenge can do for you. It can prove to you that you can do it, that you can push past the struggles, that you can move forward, especially when you think you can't. And then you'll begin to notice that you can. The word "can't" won't even enter your consciousness any longer--other than to realize you aren't even thinking that way any more. That's such a eye opener!

And it's good reason to ride a bike.

No matter what, we'll all be tested at some point or another in our lives. Riding a bike will help you see that you can meet the challenge, that you can handle it, and that the outcome will be whatever you need it to be--or close enough to hold your head up high. That's called self-respect.

Isn't that a good reason to ride a bike?

Friday, July 25, 2008

The power of change

My daughter got married this year. She and her husband moved in with me just before the wedding occurred and stayed with me for a few months after. They brought their dog with them; he didn't get along well with mine. They learned to tolerate each other. The three of them just moved out last month. My son, I just found out, is going to have a baby. I'm going to be a grandparent. My book deadline got pushed back to a different date. I'm constantly working on a different assignment with a different publication with a different editor. I just accepted a last minute offer to present a speech I didn't have, so I had to create it.

And the list goes on.

I encounter change in my life almost daily. I do not have a single boss. In fact, technically, though I am self-employed, I work for many people; therefore, I suppose you could say I have many bosses. So work is never static. There are always different contracts to read and review, different copyrights to consider, different ways to format a story. I juggle a lot of balls.

I'm not so different than most people I know.

A press representative that I work with at The Phoenician resort told me last month she had gotten married. This month, she told me she'll be leaving her job. Her husband got transferred, and she's moving with him to Colorado. She'll need to find a new job, a new house, new friends. She's ready to embrace the change, though she's slightly concerned. Her concern won't hold her back. It's just her humanity speaking. She'll miss her family and friends that she's leaving behind, especially her 13-year-old brother. She told me he's playing tennis now, and loving it, and competing. She's sorry she'll miss his games. I found that touching to hear her say this. But she's accepting the move.

My daughter--the one who just got married--told me their house may need new duct work for the air conditioning to work properly. She and her husband need to decide how they'll manage to make the repairs on their tight budget. They are working on a plan to make the important necessary repairs and save for the major and more costly one later.

Change. It's constant. We all experience it. We all live it. We all need to know how to manage it.

Some of us do it well. Some of us not so much. And some of us do it well some of the time, but not always.

Do you have a process in place that you use to manage the change in your life? Have you learned to do what my neighbor said to me recently, "Go with the flow"? Is that always the appropriate response?

I don't always accept change gracefully or openly. There are times when I reject it outright. My daughter says I need about four days to deal with really dramatic change, the kind that is so unexpected. She may be right. I do seem to have a time-frame, but I'm not sure if it can be measured in days.

Generally, I like to think I go with the flow, but I know that's not always the case. Certain kinds of change are easier to accept than others.

My process is altered, I think, according to what the change involves. Is is going to cost me a lot of money? Do I have the money it's going to cost? Is it going to cost me time--where am I going to get the extra hours I may need? How is the change going to affect me? What will I need to do to adapt?

I think I go quickly through a check-list of questions and considerations, sometimes without even knowing it, before I come to accept the change, depending on its severity.

The power of change involves lesson-building and learning. Change may hold the key to your self-confidence. You don't have to always be great at adapting to change. You just have to believe in yourself enough to know that you will.

So, if my daughter's right, and I do take around four days to adapt to big changes in my life. I'm okay with that. It means I will adapt. It means I will find the solution to acceptance. It means I will continue moving forward.

What are your thoughts about the change that occurs in your life? If chaos were to knock on your door today, would you be able to answer? Would you ignore the knock, hoping it would go away? How prepared are you to handle whatever comes next?

Not even counting this year, I've experienced a lot of change in my life. With each new experience, I've gained greater confidence in knowing I can adapt, I can create solutions, I can accept the inevitable.

Can you?