This blog introduces you to my special brand of BIKE. I show you how to find your Best self, access your Inner strength, tune in to your Killer instincts, and use your Expressive voice. It's inspiring, spiritual, quirky, and it's all in your head. It's about ATTITUDE, not exercise, though that might be a side benefit.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Tips for coping when change happens

There's a discussion going on at a writers' group I frequent. The conversation started when someone asked what to do if a publication you've been writing for changes editorial direction and you don't like the new direction. My response was to stop pitching. If you feel that strongly, it's probably not worth the hassle. It's probably time to let them go. Several others' responded similarly.

And then somebody mentioned a prior conversation that occurred on this site, quoting this gem:

"All good clients must come to an end."

Perfect! It works for anyone in any business. You can serve a client for only so long, and then you've done your job or reached your peak. It's time to move on and find fresh faces, new projects, more clients. It's time to wave goodbye, metaphorically speaking.

Perhaps you've been there before. You've worked with a client that you've loved for years. The work has been frequent, the jobs have been interesting, and management of projects well executed. No problems to speak of, for the most part. But then something happens to change that perfect picture. We all need to change things up every now and then, either to steer clear of monotony or perhaps to improve or stretch ourselves in some other way.

This happens in business and in our personal lives. Change happens. A fork in the road appears before us that requires us to pause and make a decision we weren't expecting, for example. We don't have to like it. But we do have to deal with it, or else we just stop and go nowhere.

If you're struggling with a life-changing experience right now, something that's causing you pause, here are a few tips that might help you cope:

1) Accept the change. Not necessarily the situation, but the change itself. Accept that it's happening. The dealing part can wait. But acknowledging the reality of the situation will help make things easier for you down the road, when you're ready to act.

2) Consider what the change might mean. Will it make things easier for you, more difficult, or just different?

3) Think about your options. Based on what you now know the change might mean for you, what are your options? If it's a new client you need, then it's time to market. If it's a new direction of your own that you'll need to take, what would be most exciting for you? Think about going there.

4) Take a break. Sometimes change feels too overwhelming to think about at the moment, so take a break. Go for a walk. Schedule a much-needed weekend away. Do something out of the ordinary to get your mind away from what you might perceive as difficult. When you return with a renewed perspective, you'll be better able to focus on the next step.

5) Take action. Create a plan of action for what you need to do to address this change. Keep it as simple or as complete as you need in order to move forward, and then execute the plan--one step at a time, taking it as quickly or as slowly as you need to go.


6) Use your own inner B.I.K.E. To adapt to this new change, focus on what would be the best way for you to respond. That's going to result in making decisions and taking actions that will be most authentic to you, serve your values, and leave you feeling the most sure of yourself. So ask yourself the following questions:

_What kind of attitude will this change require of you in order to ensure a smooth transition? Adopt it immediately.

_Will you be able to withstand any chaos that may arise? Are you prepared for any fallout? Believe that you are.

_What are your gut feelings saying you should do--Are you listening and paying attention at the same time? Trust that you will.

_Do you know who might be able to help you make this move? Will you be willing to call on that person, or those persons? Assure yourself it's okay to ask for help.

If you follow these steps, you'll wind up embracing that which you once feared, and all that you need to adapt will reveal itself. Because, just as all good clients must come to an end, new clients are just around the corner. Goodbye. Hello. It's the natural balance of things. Don't you think?


Star, Frankie, Patrick, and George said...

Interesting post. I may be reading it nearly a week after you posted it, but it's just what I needed to read at this moment in time.

Funny how things seem to work out like that.


BIKE LADY said...

Thanks, D. I'm supposed to be posting an update for The Artist's Way, but I got caught up in some reading. Will write the post now. Coping tips, by the way, are good for any time you need them. ;-)

jennel said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
jennifer said...

So i am dreadfully behind but i am reading (for the i dont know how many times). this time i plan to do the morning pages long past the few weeks i've ever done them before. i can really see this time that they do clear all the crap you have going on in your brain out of there so you can work (create). i never quite made that connection before. duh.
i also power walk every morning, which does the same thing, so between the two of those things, my head should be crap-less (is that a word?) by the time i start to work each day.
going thru some major personal stuff right now and this refresher is just what i need to keep working somewhat effectively anyway and not get bogged down in the crap. there's that word again.

did all the chapter one activities and even came up with some phrases that i can hang over my desk and concentrate on. scheduled an artist date this week too. all in all, i'm enjoying it so far.

BIKE LADY said...


I love the idea of being "crapless." If it's not a word, it should be. ;-)

Glad you're posting and getting something out of this. I think you probably turn to The Artist's Way, or are directed there somehow, at exactly the moment you need it. At least that's how I see it. I'd been dealing, er, NOT dealing, with some stuff of my own, and that's why I opened this book again.

It's that E of mine, my Expressive voice, telling me I need to speak up. I need to reach out. So I did. And Cameron really guides me back to reality. Her ideas force me to realize and take charge again of what's my responsibility and what's not. I think that can be the bulk of anyone's troubles, trying to control the situation, whatever the situation is, especially when it's not yours to control. Anyway, that's just a generalization, of course, because I don't know what you're going through. But I hope you understand what I mean. I catch myself and then tell myself, "Get your head out of that; it's not yours to worry about." And then I move forward in dealing what is my stuff to worry about--my own procrastination, or lack of progress, or what have you.

Hope this makes sense for you.

BIKE LADY said...

Jennel er Jennifer, it seems you posted twice, so I deleted the extra one that was posted under the name, Jennel. A misstype?