tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-792745986850454057.post2090753544473049539..comments2023-06-01T08:48:30.536-07:00Comments on BIKE WITH JACKIE: It's a sad dayAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09505661913107994459noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-792745986850454057.post-10958270162833444782008-05-22T16:30:00.000-07:002008-05-22T16:30:00.000-07:00I understand that. Skipping past anger can definit...I understand that. <BR/><BR/>Skipping past anger can definitely be more about fear and/or sadness. <BR/><BR/>Do you worry how others might react to your anger, if you were to actually feel it and, especially, express it?<BR/><BR/>In families where we are taught to repress our feelings, this is a very common behavior pattern. I'm not saying that's yours. I'm just saying it's possible. You'd have to talk to a therapist to really get to the heart of that. <BR/><BR/>JackieAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09505661913107994459noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-792745986850454057.post-14074639807982777802008-05-22T14:01:00.000-07:002008-05-22T14:01:00.000-07:00No, I don't get stuck in anger ... I skip over it ...No, I don't get stuck in anger ... I skip over it and go straight to sadness and fear (aka depression and anxiety). In this system, the "guilt" part is about owning what part of the situation is your "fault."<BR/><BR/>I'm working on parsing out each element so that I can better understand and feel whatever it is I think I'm feeling.Champion of My Hearthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09823741423104274376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-792745986850454057.post-55814258452084434172008-05-21T15:22:00.000-07:002008-05-21T15:22:00.000-07:00But we are still not our emotions. Our emotions ca...But we are still not our emotions. Our emotions can make us act in ways that others might call irrational. If it weren't for them, we might behave differently. To deal effectively with them, I believe, you first need to recognize the feeling (which you did) and then try to assess where it comes from. Generally, but not always, that anger, sadness, fear or guilt you speak of comes from something you did or didn't do--and not from other people's behavior. This is why we can so easily project our feelings. It's easier than taking responsibility for ourselves. Does that make sense? <BR/><BR/>At the same time, feelings keep us connected with other people. We can understand, for example, why someone feels sad about a friend's divorce, or frustrated that she can't help someone who is in trouble, or angry that a parent would hurt a child. We can relate. We think we know how we'd feel in that same instance. <BR/><BR/>But what do you mean when you say you have a hard time stopping at anger before getting to sadness or fear. Do you stay angry? Is that what you mean?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09505661913107994459noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-792745986850454057.post-27648507474976614392008-05-21T13:46:00.000-07:002008-05-21T13:46:00.000-07:00Anytime I hear of a breakup, it makes me sad ... h...Anytime I hear of a breakup, it makes me sad ... having been a child of numerous divorces. <BR/><BR/>Today, I'm more frustrated than sad ... does that count?<BR/><BR/>But, according to a book I'm reading, all emotions boil down into pieces of anger, sadness, fear and guilt.<BR/><BR/>Personally, I have a hard time stopping at anger before getting to sadness and fear.Champion of My Hearthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09823741423104274376noreply@blogger.com