tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-792745986850454057.post8834214549874804201..comments2023-06-01T08:48:30.536-07:00Comments on BIKE WITH JACKIE: Infidelity: 3 indicators that it could happen to youAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09505661913107994459noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-792745986850454057.post-13442947419108145512009-12-06T06:38:54.725-08:002009-12-06T06:38:54.725-08:00Great post, Jackie...and a great way to look objec...Great post, Jackie...and a great way to look objectively at a situation. I think a lot of people are so mired in a relationship that they just can't see what's happening, or what could happen. <br /><br />Right now I'm a spectator of multiple affairs - a guy I know cheated on his wife with a woman who was cheating on her husband. Now he's getting divorced, was cruel to the girlfriend, and has a new girlfriend who was seeing a married man for 6 years. It just makes me wonder why they all got married in the first place.Joannehttp://www.languageviews.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-792745986850454057.post-26627286511396091652009-12-06T05:50:41.502-08:002009-12-06T05:50:41.502-08:00Very good advice in this post. I like the way you...Very good advice in this post. I like the way you used Tiger's situation. Some infidelities young people do not see coming, like me, for instance. In retrospect, I realize my ex-husband's affair did more harm than I realized at the time. Back thirty years, it destroyed trust. Long-term, it changed the way our children approached their own lives ... I will be back to read your earlier posts and look forward to it.Alexandra Grabbehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16290396567494638238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-792745986850454057.post-59359177938199220652009-12-05T16:43:29.141-08:002009-12-05T16:43:29.141-08:00That's a tough question, Kerry. For one thing,...That's a tough question, Kerry. For one thing, when the person first finds out, shock takes over. No one expects this to happen. And if it does, it's such a betrayal that it takes as long as it takes to deal with it. And it's so personal that I'm not sure I have an answer for you. Some people--no matter if man or woman--have difficulty accepting it. I would suggest, if this is a friend of yours, that you let that friend be your guide. If it's a guy, I'd encourage that friend to find a MALE friend to go to for consolation and advice. If you go to the opposite sex for advice, that can easily lead to more trouble, inadvertently. Is your friend asking for advice? I'd let that be the clue. Other than that, I'd certainly encourage your friend to seek professional help from a counselor. Hope this helps.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09505661913107994459noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-792745986850454057.post-23746189151853180562009-12-05T11:08:24.121-08:002009-12-05T11:08:24.121-08:00Jackie,
so what are good things for a friend to sa...Jackie,<br />so what are good things for a friend to say or do when this happens to someone you care about?Kerry Dexterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16024934410964947306noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-792745986850454057.post-24379112918923635292009-12-04T22:38:26.722-08:002009-12-04T22:38:26.722-08:00Excellent tips, Jackie.Excellent tips, Jackie.Jennifer Finkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10568576650343979230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-792745986850454057.post-33923918354384891242009-12-04T05:36:28.715-08:002009-12-04T05:36:28.715-08:00Ulrike, thanks for coming back. I know another cou...Ulrike, thanks for coming back. I know another couple that told me they actually had a conversation about this, which I've blogged about before. They agreed NOT to disrespect each other in this way. If one of them thought they might, they'd discuss it first. I never had that conversation with my ex, never thought I'd need it. The whole experience has made me live a much more conscious life, thus the BIKE. That's a good thing.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09505661913107994459noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-792745986850454057.post-70302179760656124152009-12-04T05:28:06.247-08:002009-12-04T05:28:06.247-08:00Good post, Jackie. Very helpful insight to some wh...Good post, Jackie. Very helpful insight to some who are trying to overlook the obvious.Kerri Fivecoat-Campbellhttp://www.livinglargeinourlittlehouse.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-792745986850454057.post-6632826112170257532009-12-04T00:44:32.779-08:002009-12-04T00:44:32.779-08:00Ha, ha, I wondered how long it would be before Tig...Ha, ha, I wondered how long it would be before Tiger Woods would creep up in a blog, with 'creep' being the operative word. Good on her using his golf clubs to give him his come-uppance!<br />Anyway, I have been married for 20 years, happily, but we both know, and knew from the start, that any kind of 'transgression' on either side would lead to an immediate end of the relationship. <br />There isn't a single excuse for unfaithfulness, unless you are heading for a divorce anyway. If there is no trust, what do you have? Nothing. <br />Just my two cents...Ulrikehttp://www.ulwoolfrey.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-792745986850454057.post-58970382170233189142009-12-03T07:13:51.417-08:002009-12-03T07:13:51.417-08:00Be a MAN. Or be alone. Love that! Thanks for visit...Be a MAN. Or be alone. Love that! Thanks for visiting and commenting, Beth. "Really, it has NOTHING to do with his woman!"? True. It may be BS in the way he's using the line, but it's true.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09505661913107994459noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-792745986850454057.post-13255491560459122662009-12-03T07:05:34.696-08:002009-12-03T07:05:34.696-08:00Bravo! Brilliant and a great recap.
One thing I&...Bravo! Brilliant and a great recap. <br /><br />One thing I'd like to add: In the past decade or so, men have been offering lame excuses like: "We are hardwired to cheat." or "A man is only as faithful as his options." or "When a beautiful woman offers herself to him, a man just can't help himself. It's how he's made. Later he regrets it." And my personal favorite BS line: "Really, it has NOTHING to do with his woman!"<br /><br />When a man says any of those things, he's admitting that he is weak; has no self control; is at the effect of everyone else; and is incapable of acting like an adult.<br /><br />We don't accept excuses from our kids if they steal candy from a store "because it was there." Adults in committed relationships should be able to make an intelligent choice that serves their primary relationship, no matter what the temptation. Telling each other that they are just hard-wired to cheat is nonsense and beneath them. Be a MAN. Or be alone.Beth Terryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08474843684630160264noreply@blogger.com